As you can see, we're switching things up this week. I'll have the live vlog at 4pm on THURSDAY and show some journal pages today.
I've had a doozey of a week. I feel like I need a break from everything even though I haven't been around! For awhile there, looking at the computer screen made my stomach flip flop -- I'm on my laptop now on the couch, using the trackpad and taps since the mouse is broken, and my leg's keeping the one side with the broken hinge from falling over. Such is life. It's kinda hard to use a USB mouse when you're laying on a couch!
Last week, I fell into a terrible flair up, one I kinda saw coming. Note the date on this journal page.
It's quickly become one of my favorite pages, and all I used was paper, scissors, double-sided tape, and watercolor crayons. Crowded, yes, but it gave me an hour and a half of constant distraction, what with all the cutting and taping and random bits of color.
Anyway, I wasn't feeling well, but bounced back. Got back into it. Enjoyed my birthday. Went out with a friend.
But things were more and more painful at the end of the day. I would start a page, and finish it days later. But I need to get things done, get the etsy shop up, pay bills, teach classes. And I like pushing myself, I guess, because I just don't listen.
Wednesday, I decided to FINALLY listen to myself. Took a bath in epsom salts, a candle burning next to me as I tried to fit into my bathtub. Goes to show how long it's been since I've taken one, because, well, I don't fit in a standard American bathtub anymore. Really. When I'd get all myself in, the water level would get up to that little overflow-prevention thingy and start leaking out. Oh, all that warm water going down the drain!
Soaked with a copy of Somerset Studio next to me, put up my hair, and relaxed.
I noticed about four that afternoon that things weren't right. If I looked down, my stomach jumped. I couldn't turn my head. The pain was leaking down my neck to my upper back. By seven, I was sobbing.
And....I emerged on Saturday. I know I watched a lot of DVDs and took my more severe meds, and chatted with people, even made a journal page, but....I have holes. I know the pain was horrible, worse than it has been in awhile. Hell, ever.
I know I felt bad, and kept wanting to go work on stuff, my regular posts, answering emails. And my parents steered me away.
The end, basically, is that I can't work at a desk anymore, hence the broken laptop on the couch. I'm re-evaluating how I can work and make digital media and do web stuff. I'm more angry that I live in a body that restricts me in this way, that I started to actually achieve my dreams and got smacked down. I'm pissed at myself. It's something most can't relate with, and that's what this blog post is -- my venting to a friend. Except it's to a mass of anonymous people online.
So here's my latest page, which I adore, because it's all my favorite colors and shades and pieces and doodles and I FINALLY got the color laser printer to work over the network, and have been playing with Vintage Printable's considerable collection of images. Seriously, have you been there yet? Because there's a ton of eye-candy for use in your journal!