I can't take beautiful pictures, stage things, entice you into a world of perceived perfection, that affliction of social media that hides from view the mess of the kitchen, the laundry on the floor. These are the very things that make us human, those little defects, imperfections. Sharing a selfie without makeup, showing the general disarray of our lives, is like opening our chests to reveal our red, beating hearts.
Sure, there are scars and stitches perhaps a bruise or two, but that isn't the point -- we are here to be alive, to experience and create and tell and share and shine.
So here's my nakedness -- metaphorical of course.
(I've reopened my Etsy shop (journalgirl.etsy.com) & will be updating it as I work to raise some funds. I've been unable to work at all since breaking my foot, and usually live paycheck to paycheck. I'd appreciate any help and am open for small commissions.)
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At first, I thought not being able to walk for a month was going to be Boring. So, So Boring. I'm used to running around and working and being home to sleep and perhaps watch an hour of tv or two (ie Netflix and Hulu and so on). Maybe carve some time to draw (but never as much as I'd like). And for that first week or two, I sighed at how bored I was, marathoned a couple of TV shows, and did a little art and reading.
But then I reached the edge of that boredom and realized how much time I had. Sure, I'm stuck in a chair and on my bed (and also my best friend's couch), but there is so much I can do from here. A whole world I'm connected to. And if I allowed myself to be bored, I was doing my future self a disservice.
So I decided to do whatever I wanted, no rules, no thinking, just feeling & self expression.
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Don't let anyone tell you you can't work on a big canvas from a chair or couch or bed. Just show them a photo of Frida Kahlo painting in bed. It worked for her and will work for you.
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I was talking to my dad in the car today, driving home from my third cast visit (and fourth cast) and said, "What I've found is the less you worry about making something other people will like, the more they seem to like it. It's as if they can read the 'screw you' in each mark."
We both laughed.
But it's true. When I let go and just did whatever I wanted, I didn't expect anyone else to like it. So when I got tons of likes, I was happy --
-- but also didn't care.
Truthfully, it's bolstered my confidence in my 'screw you' approach. I want to do it more. I want to stop thinking, stop getting in my own way.
I suggest you do the same.
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In my hermit status, I've become a Collector.
A Collector buys every color. Grabs each size. Has the complete set. They don't use them -- there's no time for that -- but love seeing them. Running their fingers over the spines of beautiful journals, admiring all the colors of paint.
My Collection? Copic markers.
Oh, how I love using them! How I find joy in coloring and making marks and trying new things. I love learning about color and temperature and light.
But I've been Collecting them. Spending more time buying them, choosing colors for imagined projects, than coloring. Drawing. Doodling.
It's time to stop Collecting. It's time to take those journals off the shelf, those paints from the drawer, and MAKE something. Do some art. Use up all those supplies to the very last drop. Cover them in paint and charcoal and whatever else you have. DO something. MAKE something.
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I have the words 'be awake' written where I can see them.
What does that mean for you?
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Time to seize the day. Do it from where you're standing. You can change the world if you start with yourself.
xo, Samie
