I wrote this late last night, compelled to record my thoughts. I want to do that more. Get ahead of my anxiety and unafraid to post words & art that are less than perfect.

It's 12:30am and I'm thinking about bravery.

Until this year, I thought I knew what bravery meant. I always pictured that scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where he took a leap (or step) of faith. I always thought it was kinda obvious, a trick of perspective, or maybe it was the kind of magic that only happened in movies.

Brave is doing the hard thing. Is being your authentic self. Is going out and taking the world by storm. Brave has become a buzz word uttered by women who found themselves and want to help the rest of us. It's where we want to go with our art and our lives. It's a constant quest, a striving to be more.

But I never understood the journey that brings you to that place. How bravery is really about being terrified but persevering through the fear. It's standing on the edge of your life, of everything you know, and walking away. The path before you is a faint line in the ashes of all you know and there's about ten feet of visibility. Anything past that is in a thick fog rolling in from the east that leaves you damp and cold as you walk. Birdsong and crickets and nocturnal critters scurry around in that inky black of a new moon's night and oh, yeah, you can barely make out the stars above.

I never fully respected the phoenix that rises from ashes. Never realized how hard it is to pull yourself back together after your life has vanished. There's little bedrock to start from and no building materials. There is the next step, the next pile to turn into brilliant feathers. There are fears to face and a steely determination that gets you through it. It's everyone telling you how strong you are when all you want to do is break apart.

Bravery isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. And it never ends. Being brave means facing all your fears and limiting beliefs and running anyway. It's hard and messy and leaves you gasping for breath. Bravery is doing what needs to be done no matter how tired you are or how terrible you look without make up or how much you don't think you can do it. You have to do it.

Bravery is realizing there isn't really a choice - you can't turn around and go back but you can't stay here.

So, like Indiana Jones, you close your eyes, clutch your truth to your chest, and go for it.

And that's what I'm just beginning to learn.

Progress pictures:

Detail shots:

One of the things I love doing, when I meet a new artist I admire, is sitting down to watch them work.

There are so many things that go into a finished art journal spread or painting, or any creative endeavor that exist under the surface. What we see as "finished" is a collection of not only paint and paper, but the music, location, time of day, and anything seemingly random that the artist encountered that day.

Heart to Art is a 4-week mini-workshop where I'll not only create a video for you to watch, but explain all the other stuff going on that connected at that moment of time. I want to share the process because the finished spread is only half the journey. I am interested in how certain things came together to create the art I love so much.

Join me every Friday to see the video and learn something under the surface. Download the supply sheet here.

I've just gone through a rough patch with many complications, and two weeks post-everything has me seeing the world in a new way, walking around, living out of a suitcase, and living on faith. Faith that things will fall into place. Faith that I'm doing the right thing. These are a few of the thoughts going through my mind as I began to paint.

I started a bit differently than I usually do, scribbling with watercolor Neocolor II crayons, then hitting the diluted color with heavy body white acrylic paint and a bit of Dina Wakley Media black gesso (I am also using her brushes).

Golden's new High Flow Acrylics are awesome for making drips down the page. I haven't done too much of this lately, but like playing and moving quickly when I'm in the flow of creating. I made the mistake of hitting the dark indigo with green gold...which makes a yucky color. But instead of thinking the page was finished, I kept going, knowing I could fix it.

One thing I wanted to play with was my newest digital collage sheet. I'm old school when it comes to collage sheets - get some scissors, copies, and double-sided tape and I'm good to go. However, I've been experimenting with using elements from journal pages and creating the collage sheets completely on the computer. It's so fun and allows me to make them much more easier.

I can't wait until next week, when I'll do more with the new Derwent Graphik Line Painters (can we say 0.5 nibs and smoooooth writing?)

Around the time I started putting down the acrylics and thicker layers, a new song came on my Spotify radio. Some of the feel of the song & the bit of the speech jumped into my journal. Who doesn't want life to be an adventure? I'm standing on the edge about to step into that wonderful life, face to the sun, free.

(Seeing and feeling passion, combined with great music & talent, can do a lot. I love the indirect way the music I listen to gets into the flow of my world.)

I'll be using the comments section as a forum -- feel free to post questions/impressions there and I will reply to the best of my ability.