“steadfast (adj): very devoted or loyal to a person, belief, or cause : not changing”
I'm a big fan of choosing a word for the year. And I often paint them on a canvas I then hang where I'll see it everyday, a reminder of where I want to go or what I want to develop in myself.
On New Year's Eve, I spent ages combing through definitions and synonyms, trying to hone in on what I wanted to say to myself and the world this year. It took me a bit, but I found the word I wanted: Steadfast.
I know, in the past, I haven't been the most reliable or consistent person. A lot of this was due to my various invisible illnesses and the unpredictable nature of Fibromyalgia. But some was because I just didn't care enough, or was too tired, or found it hard to reach my own high expectations. I'd rush into things and soon find myself behind or unable to complete something.
This has made me more discerning regarding any commitments I make. I was asked, last year, to contribute to various projects, but felt I was still trying to reach some kind of balance and didn't want to say yes just in case things changed and I had to bow out halfway through. Or miss a deadline. For me, it was easier to say no than to try.
And we all know what Yoda said about trying.
One of my favorite shows is The Newsroom (and if you haven't watched it, you're really missing out on some great television). Like all Aaron Sorkin projects, it's idealistic, snappy, and sarcastic with an undercurrent of truth and the Things We Don't Want to Hear. But something on there really stuck in my mind. When asking how they did the news, and did it well, the answer is simple: "We just decided to."
That's where I am. I'm just deciding to be steadfast, consistent, and always show up. I feel like a switch has been hit in my brain; I spend hours every night after work painting, I show up to things when I say I will, and even have a new dedication to my job. Simply put, I just decided to!
So I'll be around this year. Certainly more than last year! And steadfast in my mission of empowering others through the creation of art. I hope you stick around 'cause I'm just getting started!
xoxo,
Samie