The autumn air must carry magic on its cool, musical breezes; while fall has never been my favorite season, I can't deny the changes that have come within the orange and red-tinted days of an unusually warm October. Gone is the desire to run to blog every creation as soon as it's finished, the need to write and share every thought in my mind. I feel as though my creativity's been a good glass of cognac, warm, smooth, and savored as I reflect and ponder.
I've spent a lot of time daydreaming – watching myself create projects, my mind like some sort of 3-D rendering program, analyzing and correcting, excited by the prospects that come to me when half-asleep. Relaxing has become a normal part of my day, the periods of rest refreshing me to jump into the studio once more.
This sort of self-exploration doesn't make for a lot of “finished” products. More...tinkering, as if I'm some sort of clock-maker trying to bring an old timepiece back to life. Except I'm breathing life into a future me. There's a commercial that's on, and while I can't remember the product, the first line from it runs through my head: “While I didn't know what I wanted to be, I knew the woman I wanted to become.” How true is that? Why strive to find a niche when I know the woman I want to grow into? Knowing this endpoint helps clarify the steps I need to take.
My daily paintings aren't exactly daily, but the intention's there. Each one is my take on a different style, though I can see my own voice throughout. It's fun, this journey. Playing. Discovering.
Last week, I started going to the laundromat – to observe, photograph, even stand and work. There's something soothing about standing there, machines swirling all around you, children snacking, clothes passing in baskets on wheels. Maybe it's from going to someplace new. We all need to branch off the familiar, bask in the unknown.
Me, I'm trying to appreciate fall by viewing it as the last fall I'll experience. Appreciating each falling leaf as if I'll never see another fall. The colors as though those hues will disappears. Not focusing on the end result but the journey.
I've posted pictures and little blog entries about them over on flickr.