"Walking opens us up. It feeds us. Image by image, it spoons up for us a broth or soup of soul food, which sustains us as we do the work necessary to shape and reshape our lives."
-- Julia Cameron, Vein of Gold
I'm becoming addicted to walking.
What started as a lark, a way to spend an afternoon and try my hand at taking pictures, has turned into a craving, a simple, stubborn need to get out there where the sky is blue, the grass is green and uncut, and walk. I am powerless against it, now bending to its will.
This may all seem nice and normal, but for me, it's been a struggle to get to this place. For the last four years or so, my various physical ailments have largely held me back from living a somewhat normal life. Constantly tired, needing naps in the afternoon, not being able to stay out late -- these things turned day and night into nothing more than a stage play I caught bits of between bouts of sleep. When awake, pains kept me immobile. For awhile, in the darker days, I rarely walked anywhere; I became trapped in my own house.
If you want proof of the healing powers of art, here I am. Art, joy, creativity, personal exploration -- I have been digging for four years, often through tears, to find a solution, a "fix." That magic solution that would heal all my woes. Nothing came easily, but now, for the first time, as I sit here, ready to go for my walk, I feel fantastic. Yes, I still have pain. But it's so small....we've become friends over the years, and I feel that we've reached an understanding.
*laughs* This post is going somewhere different than I planned. These things happen!
This will be my 102nd post on this blog. That's quite an accomplishment! And I need to say this: that having this blog, putting my art and words out there, meeting amazing people -- this has contributed greatly to my newfound health and happiness. Each one of you have given me a precious gift that I won't squander or waste. I am just so thankful. When I started, I had no idea how far I'd go....and look where i am! It shocks and amazes me every day, and sometimes, I feel like pinching myself.
I had dreams, back in college. Not one has come true. Perhaps what they say is true, that you never know what you need, only what you want. I think the biggest thing I've gotten back is FAITH. I'd lost it so long ago....to have it back....WOW!
I've a huge stack of papers, here, articles and art for the next issue of the 'zine. And the weather's beautiful outside. I believe a walk is in order. I leave you with images from Sunday's walk, all taken with my Polaroid camera.