The last two weeks have been difficult; my body revolted against an attempt to stretch my limits, the perfectionist in me wishing to be "normal" and do what everyone else can -- work eight hour shifts at work. I worked and cleaned and tried to organize my life into what I felt it should be, not what my heart has planned for me, and, well, it kicked my ass. I've been on the couch or sleeping if not at work, and yesterday was the first time in a while I even stepped foot in the studio.
Hrmm. Part of me feels the studio needs a name. I'll have to ruminate on this.
But everything is clean! I spent yesterday focusing on the studio, bringing in new furniture, doing a bit of decorating, and finally hanging curtains (if you've done Skype with me, you know how hard it is to see me when I'm at my computer desk). It is amazing how doing something like this can change the feeling of a room.
Sometimes, we need to focus on other things. If we journal all the time, perhaps it's time to work on a garland, or learn basic jewelry techniques. If painting, perhaps it is time to write. If writing, try your hand at a new craft. When we focus so completely on our specific form of art, we become immersed in it, obsessed with it, and our well dries up.
It's like that sorbet you eat between courses at a good restaurant. You eat one course, then cleanse the pallet so you can more fully experience the tastes of the next; the second isn't tainted by the first. When frustrated or uninspired, burned out or just not feeling it, we need to try our hand at a new or different craft.
Absorbed by journaling, I tried a bit of decorating and creating of a different kind. I created a beautiful garland to go over the pale purple curtains I found, a craft that is a lot harder than it looks! After hours of dying and trimming and varying, I could get to stringing everything together. Now, whenever I go up the stairs, I see this dainty, pretty craft hanging.
And I'm ready to dive back into the journaling. I am finished with pushing myself -- I know my limits and must simply accept them. Yes, this means less money and more worry over monies owed, but I can't live as I have lately. I lost the passion to create, to read, to imagine and live. Today, I faced the judge seeing my case at the Social Security Administration, wracked by nerves, and asked for an extension. I can do anything.
I hope you're along for the ride! I'm working on a new online workshop, a secret project, and another project with Dawn -- I'm sure you'll love it! More videos and photos and pages. I need to stop fighting against it and go with my heart. But always remember to take time to clear my mind, work on something else, and refill that well.
My mother found this dainty 1946 copy of Emma for me. I faced that judge wearing my grandmother's pearls and holding the prayers of my friends in my heart. I trailed around an art store and explored. I feel like a new woman, one who is ready to accept my destiny and get working!