I filmed this on Monday, my first day back in the studio in nearly 21 days.
While the cause of this migraine is still a bit of a mystery, I've been slowly getting better over the past few days. I'm not back to full strength yet -- four hours of art and I'm dead on my feet, errands exhaust me, and it's taken me all day to answer a few emails and post -- but I'm slowly getting there, one day at a time. And like always, my fibromyalgia has complicated matters a bit. But it's okay. I'll get through.
Which brings to me to what I said about self-care in the video. I truly think there's a point when our self-care can stop us from progressing forward; the belief that we're not well enough keeping us from living our life. There was a point, last week, when I had to be rushed to the doctor, that I got depressed. Majorly depressed. Prayers turned angry as I felt I was being punished and ignored, I stayed in bed all day in the dark…I felt like I would never feel better, never get back to life, and seriously wondered if there was serious damage being done to my brain.
And yes, you can wallow there for awhile. You can let yourself just be, and stop thinking about answering emails or keeping up social engagements or even eat healthy. Crawl under the covers. But at some point, you need to get pissed.
Yep. Pissed. Angry. You aren't going to let this, whatever it is, keep you from living life and finding joy and spreading whatever inspiration & love you can. And honestly, ever since I started forcing myself to work through things, I've felt better. More positive. Happier.
I've been working on my Gelli Print Junk Journal e-course. I haven't been able to advertise, or share the work, or do a promo, or all of the myriad of things you need to do to run a successful class online these days. I'm trying not to get discouraged by the lack of sign ups or messages asking for assistance (which I understand, but wish someone would acknowledge that my work is worth what I'm charging!). Art Journal Summer Camp was a wild success with over 60 students, and I'd love to get there with the new class. I'm sharing SO MUCH. Spending hours and hours developing, making samples, writing lesson plans, and even found a new binding style that you don't know but that will highlight the prints wonderfully.
This artist's life isn't glamorous or easy -- it can be stressful a lot of the time when you're depending on others to help you pay the rent! -- but it saves my life in a new way every day, and that's worth more than anything else in this world (except good gluten-free pizza…maybe).
Now, I have a lot of work to do, and not too much energy left, so I'd better get to it!