I am tired of faces.

​I had a totally different thought this afternoon, but wanted to make this daily diary thing easy​, and that means writing my heart. 

I am tired of faces. ​

​Totally, completely, bored​ with faces. 

For the past year or so, I have been practicing. Studying. Doing graphite portraiture and realistic pieces, cartoon and illustration types, big and little and focused on tiny details omg get them right​! I have studied them with graphite, charcoal, colored pencils, crayons, oils, and acrylics. Even paint pens. And all I can show for it is a desire to draw them fast and expressive and get on with it​! 

I have faces with necks and....nothing more. ​

I became so focused on all the details that I lost the forest for the trees. I would get lost in seeking perfection and lose spontaneous expression. ​By the end, my girls would be staring blankly into space and I just....gah. 

So I started creating animal girls, totem girls, as I journeyed on my own Heroine's Quest. I was opened up to the world of animal wisdom last summer, and have begun remembering my dreams. Sometimes, I'll hear a random animal's call, or see it repeated across a day or two, and know it's trying to tell me something. And so my girls morphed into something new, again. ​

And then I was reminded of something old​, an illustration style that was expressive and spontaneous and didn't take days to finish. I pulled out the originals and found myself itching to draw like that again, to create for myself an environment where I could be imperfect again. Where I could draw fast and sloppy and speak from the heart​.  

So now I can turn that laser focus to the gothic lolita dresses I've loved for years and want to draw. I can work on learning color theory. I can go BIG. ​

That's what I have been called to do. Paint BIG. Stand and dance as I spread paint across the canvas. Look at my new, giant brushes! ​

TODAY​: Woke up late, worked on a couple project, and felt Friday fall on my shoulders when I heard those words we all hate: your car needs to go in for repairs​. Ugh. That fell with a couple other things, and I had to draw a new map through emotion. Went to the library. Bought good, organic, non-GMO fed foods for a yummy dinner. Try kombucha & forgot fermented​ = not good for gluten-free me.