{waking in color}

I’m actually writing this before bed, though it is technically Monday. I just finished re-watching the unaired Sherlock pilot, again, though only because someone else in the apartment hadn’t seen it yet and that show is bloody brilliant. Ahem. I’ve adopted lots of British-isms in the past 2 weeks or so, which is wonderful. 

Is it really Monday? Where did my weekend go? 

I did publish that video, which was 3 hours or so of editing and learning iMovie ’09 after Final Cut Pro decided it no longer wanted to work on my computer. Last week was filled with technology woes -- first, my upgrades to a new OS didn’t work out so well (my Mac is a hackentosh, a two-year-old Dell Inspiron desktop that is made of magic), then, when those were settled, my new camera’s software wouldn’t load unless things were upgraded, and the upgrades crashed the system and...

*deep breath*

I finally was able to film near sundown on Wednesday, tried to edit Thursday, was back on Friday, and finished with a marathon session on Saturday. There was a point in there when I asked myself why I was going through all the trouble, and then, when I was giggling and getting really into editing, I realized why: I love making vids. I love putting together the layers, figuring out the shots and the angles and what goes where. I love writing it all out before I start so I have a roadmap of some kind. 

And I feel like, for the past three or four years of putzing around on YouTube, that I’ve been asleep. That this deep love -- this love I have a bachelor’s degree in -- was always waiting, but I never took YouTube seriously enough to put the effort into it. And that was my mistake. Even though I wasn’t make money off things (I now make around $5 a month from a few ad-share videos), I should have seen that that didn’t matter. 

I went that way with my art. I created and journaled and blogged even through it wasn’t making me a penny. I just had fun. And I think these days we get too caught up in numbers or stats that we may lose sight of this. 

 

Becca asked me last week for advice on getting more subscribers for her blog. She asked how I got popular. I don’t consider myself very popular, and think my Facebook page gets more traffic than this blog, so I wasn’t able to really answer her question because I’ve never thought about it. 

This was my mission statement when I began blogging in 2006: 

To create the type of blog I’d love to visit. 

There weren’t very many art journaling blogs out there, nor were there many books, so I decided to fill this gap I found with my own adventures. I never went around and advertised, didn’t comment too much on other blogs (I’m terrible at that, by the way; I may read yours regularly and never say anything!), and had little idea what I was doing. But I knew what I wanted to read about online, what images and inspiration I wanted to see, so that’s what I produced. I posted to my blog and on Flickr and that was it. 

In fact, I made sure I didn’t get too wrapped up in numbers. I didn’t want to care; caring too much meant I could be disappointed if a post didn’t get any comments or very many views. I published nearly every journal page I created back in those days, posting so often, it was insane. 

But I did get caught up. And when people didn’t like pages, I’d get sad. And when I was making pages, I wouldn’t even be ten minutes into it when I started thinking about posting it online and what people would think. Those thoughts began influencing my work, and wow did I get blocked. 

So I decided to cool it on posting journal pages for awhile -- a practice that continues, I must admit; I post about 30-50% of my pages these days, and haven’t scanned one for months. I’ve found more satisfaction in flash posts on my Facebook page and writing my newsletter than in anything else. And now that I’m back to making the types of videos I enjoy, I’m just tickled pink all the time. 

I set out this weekend to paint. To turn off the computer and just be. And I didn’t log on much -- I checked my email three times and Facebook about the same. Just quick little jaunts. Since I lost my cell phone two weeks ago, I don’t have that constant tether to the online world anymore (but am freaked out when driving around without any way to contact people should something *cough* Irunoutofgasonthefreeway *cough* happen). It was great. I doodled. A lot. Worked on the same journal page all day, saw a movie, bought a book, and oh, yeah -- found out I might have strep. For now, it’s a very sore throat, achy ear, going from hot to cold, and a persistent headache that has me walking through water. 

 

Ugh. Visiting the little clinic in Walgreens tomorrow just in case, though I trust the independent diagnoses of my parents, as they are experienced in such things. How this happened, I don’t know! (Note: if I owe you something other than a package to put in the post, please be patient; I shall email you later) Anyway, no insurance = little clinic in a drug store on a mother’s dime. How far I’ve come. 

Anyway, I think what’s happened is I was trying to be like those other blogs, with their deep, moving posts that everyone links to and loves, and you know what? I’m not like that. I like having conversations. I like living a digital life. I like making videos and doing art and teaching classes (and yay news about True to You 2; the lovely Tam is working with me on that, the angel she is...). I like making journals (and am getting someone to pull out the binding machine so I can stock those loved spirals in my etsy shop). I like helping others discover their potential (if I could be an art journaling coach with real clients, I’d be a happy girl). 

There’s my advice, Becca. Be yourself. Don’t try to get readers -- just be. They’ll come. Give them time to find you. Go out on a ledge and submit something to a magazine. And be an awesome friend so your friend (ie: me) can link to your blog because I just adore you and your awesome creative spirit. Have I mentioned her home is covered in art by family and friends? It’s like walking into color that you never want to leave. 

Bed for me, now. I’ll post this in the morning. 

xoxo, 

samie kira

{studio vlog tuesday & some nice words!}

I've had some pretty nice things said about my various projects lately!

About Hodgepodge #1, Theresa wrote:

Samantha refers to this as a "gentle hug"...I call it a great, big, comforting mama bear hug! This is a must-have for all new, aspiring art journalists. I have not been able to put it down! I have been so inspired and for this Samantha consider yourself hugged! I can't wait for #2!

And Beth did an entire blog post about the first issue, saying many nice things, including:

I loved the personal side of this zine. All to often we admire other artists work, but never really get much of a glimpse into THEM aside from what they post on their blog or websites. Samantha’s zine is honest, raw and unashamed. It shows us that even those whose work we admire are real people too, with the same hopes, fears and dreams.

The first issue is still available for order as an e-book here. Pre-orders for #2 open on August 26th!

Nolwenn did a great post about the Small Art Mail Swap, saying:

I really miss receiving snail mails. I remember how excited I was to go to my mailbox everyday and check if someone sent me a letter (and I still am, but except bills… we don’t receive lots of personal letters).

It’s free (you just have to pay the shipping), and it’s simple: you create something (6×6 maximum) and you write an handwritten encouraging letter to someone that also signed up. And this person will do the same for you. You’ll make someone’s really happy.

Just a little note about the swap: we're up to 83 participants. It's going to be EPIC. :D

Also, it was brought to my attention that many of the hard links aren't working on the blog. I changed a setting to hopefully make links shorter, and it's only made things more complicated! I'll be fixing these right away, but if you can't wait, simply replace the httpwwwjournalgirlcom with blog in order to get where you're going.

I'd better get set up for tonight's live vlog! Check back here when it's over for the link to the recording.

ETA: I still haven't finished this journal page -- I had no idea what I was making! I'll have to take a pic when it's done for you. Hope you learned something nonetheless!

[studio vlog tuesday, 8/24/10: a journal page of layers....that keeps going!]

I think a lot of this was me playing around with new colors, ideas, and materials. Sometimes, that's how it happens...you have an idea and go to your journal to see how/if it works. I've been into experimenting lately, in such a major way that my studio's more a lab than anything else. I've come out of that cocoon, seen the beauty in my wings, and now have to learn how to fly by, well, throwing myself at the ground and missing. 

{the power of dreams}

Good morning from the chilly Midwest!

Summer has turned to fall; outside, the air is still and silent, no more children laughing, or cars zooming down the street, sounds carried by waves of humidity wafting off the pavement. No, now, the air barely seems to move, a whisper stroking multi-colored leaves. I've never been a huge fan of autumn, but have come to appreciate the beauty each season brings. Soon, people will be bundled, hurrying from car to store and back again; no one goes outside during a Chicago winter.

After a month of spotty journaling, I'm back to creating oddles of pages. Above is one done after amazingly vivid dreams of me teaching and guiding others; I am filled with a sense that some power larger than myself is along for the ride, sitting beside me as I work toward making these things happen. They are the answers to many prayers for guidence and a clue as to what I am doing.

I originally took the job I have now as a way to have a steady paycheck and health insurance while working on more creative endevors. Now, I find myself working more and more and neglecting art and my writing -- two things that have been presented with so many oppertunities, only I've been too busy or tired to embrase them. Is that how it's supposed to be? I feel as though I've wandered off the path Divinity and I were skipping down, tangled in the brush. They are calling to me, trying to help me find my way back, but I am too frightened and torn-up to keep trying to follow their voice.

Does this make any sense? I find myself questioning more and more in this life I'm living, wondering how I got here. I need a way back to balance in my life; heck, I slept 12 hours last night, so exausted from work yesterday that I could barely move; my body felt so delicate and shattered. I'm not listening to it when it comes to limits, and I thought I'd gotten past that! Now, a promotion may be hiding in the wings, and instead of letting God take care of it, I'm pushing, pushing instead of cutting back, finding balance, figuring things out.

Sometimes, I could just smack myself. Ever feel like that?

So how do we get back? How do we find the faith and strength to get through the bush, back to the path and our waiting companion? Yes, we will get scratched up, and yes, it will be painful, but we have to, don't we? Unless we want life to be a constant struggle, lost out there with only a faint voice telling us it doesn't have to be this way. And here I am, clutching a clear vision from above, and what do I do? Say, "Yes, I will work on it. When I have time," instead of taking it for what it means.

I have to make the little changes that will add up over time. Honor my committments. Do my art. And have faith I'll find my way.

{a inspirational find...}

I was lucky enough to visit Jenny Sweeney's little shop yesterday, where, after going to Bali with Anahata, she carries a lot of Papaya! stuff....which includes a few Sabrina Ward Harrison prints. I don't think the line's been "officially" released, but I got this gem to hang on my studio wall. You have no idea how amazing it is to look up from my journal and see this hanging there.

I also grabbed Papaya!'s 2010 weekly planner. Mmmm...More eye candy! And because of how much I spent, I got a cute assortment of Jenny's notepads and cards!

Here's some of Jenny's new artwork on Anahata's blog; seeing these in person is amazing, and I love this new direction she's going in. I'm so lucky to have such a talented artist living right here near me!

It got me working in my journal, experimenting with new colors and techniques. Does anyone else find that Zinc White smells a bit? I never really have used it, but it came in the pack of colors I bought, so I decided to try it out. I like what it DOES, just am uncomfortable using something that smells, considering I get it all over my hands. Help?

Thank you everyone for your comments regarding my last post, more specifically, me possibly writing a book! Hearing things like that really gives me a creative boost, and I'm seriously considering it, now! So thanks!

This week's vid will be Coptic Binding. I need a new journal, as my current one is about a week or so from being finished, and when I get this close to finishing one, I have to bind, bind, bind! I also have a cool idea for a file folder journal I want to share with you.

For now, I send to you my love and creative vibes!

reader's voice: advice! and a new video coming soon!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="a journal page in progress; taken with my camera phone"][/caption] I need some advice! I just emailed the currator for an "art crawl," where artists from around the county basically do their thing on the streets of one of the nice local mainstreat towns around here as well as sell work. I didn't even think -- just did. And now, I need to tell him what I'll be showcasing/demonstrating. I know what I'm going to do. More than anything. As soon as I saw this opertunity, my soul shouted YES! so loud, I almost got knocked out of my chair. I'm going to grab a journal, my basket of supplies, plunk down, and just art journal for four hours. While people watch. Maybe do a painting....the new girls I've been doing would be perfect since I can finish in that time frame. Fears have risen: what if I'm considered not "good" enough compared to the others? (pish. I'm just different!) or if no one stops to watch (you're still having fun!). I need some advice on how to SAY what I do. If you were describing my stuff to a friend, what would you say? Mixed-media journal artist? Mixed-media illustration? Altered book? I'm partly using this post to procrastinate answering him...I need time and a little input. AND! I just finished filming the raw video for a new vid! I spent the day downloading and configuring programs for capture and editing, and was so excited, I ran upstairs and started on one. I admit to not being perfect in it, and just experimenting and such -- would this turn you off? Knowing the teacher is still learning as well? Do you want your teacher/vid person to ABSOLUTELY know what they're doing? Or is it okay that we're playing in a journal together, like friends? I'd think this would make you more comfortable to explore and make mistakes, right? I have to get to bed, but tomorrow afternoon, I'm spending it editing, editing, editing (and painting, of course!). Let me know! love, kira

{ sideshow: questions, no answers, teenage-like art stage? }

It must be the love of psychology that keeps me comparing the stages of things to that of a developing human. Nothing interests me more than the way the human mind works, from computations to the construction of abstract ideas. I can feel a piece of paper under my fingers and visualize what will be put on there later at the same time, with little difficulty; art has allowed my mind to stretch and grow in ways I never thought possible. Learning art was my Childhood Stage: I saw, loved, and copied. Colored inside the lines, experimented with new materials, found the "masters" and emulated their work. Read everything I could. I was a foreigner who didn't even know the language -- luckly, Childhood is when things are the easiest to learn and remember, and soon, I was saying 'gesso' right (I STILL get comments about that mispronunciation in my first video!). I then entered Middle Childhood. Feeling somewhat confidant, I began branching off on my own, going farther with my ideas, experiments, and ideas. I took what I'd learned in Childhood and began transforming it into my own works. Found the colors I liked, the materials I liked, and began liking my work. Read everything I could get my hands on, trying to gleam some inspiration from the artists I admired. We all know what comes next, though -- Adolescence. *shutters* Being a teenager is an ackward, uncertain time when you begin questioning everything, wonder what you're even doing or if you should be doing it in the first place, and feel changes happening under the surface that, well, make you feel really hinky. You either throw yourself into your studies or find the darker things in life. Things are bubbling, boiling, and you're quicker to anger when things don't work the way you want. While, as an artist, I don't have any parents to rebel against, I do have myself. For example: last night, I got the grand idea that I'd use the 12"x12" squares of cardstock I had laying around as surfaces for paintings -- I've been having fun in my journal, and thought I could transport that magic outside the bound pages. So, today, I sat in the studio, turned up my iPod, and started painting. It looked great. And then, I kept going, and going, and BAM -- I could feel the teenager inside me screaming and crying, telling me to destroy it. "No, I can't do that," Older Me told her, "It is valuble in it's imperfections. It shows us what we don't like." "But we know what we DO like," she shouted back. "Why can't we just go back to that? To the way it was?" "Because how will we grow?" I said. "I was getting bored with acrylics and paintbrushes and drawings." "Then pull out the magazines," Teenage Kira advised. "You thought you were being all smart, deciding to not use them, but you really do like them sometimes." So I did. And made some awesome pages. Teenage Kira gloated in the corner, with her dark hair and black lipstick. "See, I told you." "We still can't destroy the piece. Learn from it. At least we did something today that was different. That hasn't been done before. Isn't that what we want?" "What YOU want," she shot back. "I like the norm." "And I don't want to be the norm. I want to express myself. I want to discover more." So we compromised. I'll be using only watercolors and pull out the magazine images and such. Let's see how it goes. Having a teenager is tough! But tougher when it's you!

{ a journaled-bag article! }

Lookie! It's finally available! The most recent issue of Altered Couture features an accessory article by yours truely. Remember my journal bags? They're now on the glossy pages of this magazine, along with instructions. Oohhh...I have SUCH an urge to run out, grab some new ones to alter, and spend the night journaling. I have been itching for a new bag...