Reconnecting with my Art Journal

This just in: local girl misses her art journal!

I've been spending my time, as of late, coloring in mandalas, doodling, & painting. Which is awesome and so amazing and full of magic! 

But I realized I missing living in a sketchbook/art journal. Carrying a book around and gluing in paper scraps, drawing dreams, and writing - poetry, yearnings, or whatever other words are aching to come out. I pulled out my old issues of Play & Art & Life, paging through all the art...the raw pages, the scribbled words, the photos glued into painted spreads. 

In my yearning to paint more, I'd lost touch with what brought me here, to this point in my life.  

And so, when I was able to get to the studio, I immediately pulled out my Neocolor II crayons, spray inks, white paint, and neon color and just started playing around. No need for balance or perfect or thought - just a girl pouring out her heart on paper. 

I love, love the pages I created​! The colors and textures and mistakes. All of them. All I made. And I want to make more! 

I'm thinking of giving myself a 30 day challenge to get back to myself & my art journal. A way to be accountable. And maybe this will turn into something different because of my new knowledge and techniques and favorite supplies. I don't know. But I'm super psyched to find out. ​

Would you like to participate? I'm going to give myself a prompt list, & blog each day, even if I don't finish or only make a few marks. I have a lot going on, lots of moving, but I know I can make time for my art.  

I'm thinking I'd post each day, but have a separate blog for progress pics and tips that would be a $5-$10 donation thing (more for energy exchange than anything else). Thoughts?  

I'm off to draw my own mandalas...I think after all the coloring and embellishing I've done, it's finally time to branch out on my own.  

PS. I've been updating my Etsy shop with new work twice a week. Here's my newest piece! Don't forget - I do commissions!

your willingness to be awed

Let me tell you: when you commit to a daily art practice, you go through some emotional upheaval. 

Working on art every day pulls more out of me, since instead of working on one painting or journal spread a week, I’m doing several. This means generating more ideas and trying to figure out what I want to create…what imagery do I want to paint? How do I want to draw my girls? Are there landscapes hiding behind them? What shapes and patterns am I drawn to? 

And these lead to the deeper questions, because they are the ones that fuel the art. How do you figure out what goes in the background of a painting without diving into the well of your own Self? It’s the only way to find that which you want to express, the subject matter you are willing to commit hours and hours of time with, drawing and refining and staring at again and again. 

I’ve never blurred the writing on a journal page before. I’ve held spreads back, but never hidden the words. I’m doing this so I can continue to be raw and honest in my journal without having the thought of what if I want to share this spread running through my head. 

It is simply a personal revelation about issues I was dealing with in high school that, honestly, I’d forgotten about until I was working through a simple little pet peeve of mine. The words appearing on the page were eye-opening, a true revelation that shed light on interpersonal relationships for the past, well, a long time! 

Be brave enough to take the plunge (hence the girl on the left-hand page, jumping off a cliffside into the deep blue ocean) and risk going too far! It can bring great comfort and wisdom into your life! 

the gentile reminders of an art*full life

After last week's experiment, I'm back in the studio three days a week, working on paintings and playing in my art journal.  

Have a lot of thoughts in my head that want to jump onto the paper. 

It feels like a releasing ceremony, except here, instead of writing worries on the paper and tossing it into a fire, we write them on the pages of our journals (those secret spaces) and transform them through paint, paper, and imagery. I never knew, all those years ago, what a precious gift this art*full life would be, one held carefully in cupped hands, sacred and light and endlessly deep. 

I made it five hours today at the studio. Pushed through frustration and happiness and got down to play. I'm learning to recognize where I'm in my own way and getting ideas where I can make an extra effort or stop being so hard on myself. Sitting down to work on a schedule, having a near-daily practice, helps so much . 

blick matte acrylics, golden fluid acrylics, collage, stabilo pencil, prismacolor markers, washi tape

A friend going through something has me thinking about the rhythms of our lives, how we need to own our rhythms and speeds and know they are perfect for us . I related a story from college: in culture, race, & media class, we started talking about differently*abled folks (my term, not theirs...though it should change!) and their perspective. I offered up my own, newly-formed from a couple months living in downtown Chicago (where I went to college, btw!). 

One thing I'd noticed was that no one slowed down. All around me, people were rushing to get from A to B, on their phones, looking down at their feet -- just rushing about. I'd often have to move to the edges of the sidewalk as I walk slower. I didn't want  to at that time, being twenty years old and a college student, and was desperate for a reason to be happy  with how my life had changed. Up until then, my FMS had been...around...but hadn't had a huge impact on my life. 

(This was also the time in my life when I had my first surgery for other issues.) 

But as I eased into this new rhythm of my life, I noticed more. The flowers planted along the sidewalks in a rainbow of colors, the way the sun highlighted the patina of the statues outside the Art Institute, the cooler air coming off Lake Michigan. I can picture those walks perfectly in my memory, even now. The diner where students ate and the Bennigans down the way. My slower pace allowed me to see more beauty, soak up more life, and taught me patience. 

spray paint, golden high flow acrylics, washi tape, blick matte acrylics -- still in-progress

For me, five hours in the studio is an accomplishment. When I told a different friend, she reminded me to get home to rest so I could spend more and more time there, painting, experimenting, playing, daydreaming. 

Others may be able to put in 8 hours in a studio, or 12, or stay up all night. That's not me. I have a set bed time, I sleep in. I snuggle on my couch and work on the computer each morning. I come home to watch prime-time (and this month, work on my novel for NaNoWriMo!) and curl up and read or play in my sketchbook. Would I like to put in more hours? Yes! Can I? Not really. Am I upset about this? Not at all!  

Just makes it that much more my  path. And if I can illuminate the beauty in the slow rhythms of life on the way, then I'm doing something right. 

me, at the studio tonight, with paint & a smile on my face...

Lessons From a Painting Day

​Oops! I definitely thought​ about blogging yesterday, and even did some art, but when the evening came, I ended up turning in early and falling asleep; I read perhaps a paragraph of my book before I was out! 

I'm finally falling into a steady rhythm after the whirlwind that has been April and May. I just wrapped up the last video for my online workshop Digital Adventures and while I'm glad to have that time freed up, I'm eager to fill it with a new project. My time can be so unpredictable; in caring for another, you come dangerously close to losing yourself. It's been hard to build boundaries, and my empathic nature has me rushing in to help all the time, but I'm figuring it out. 

Today was a fantastic day! I spent it painting​. 

When was the last time you painted all day?​

​For me, it's been awhile. I've done a couple of hours here and there, but no day-long adventures with paint and oil pastels and pencils. It truly is amazing and such​ a teaching kind of day. 

Teaching how? This morning, I texted Carissa a photo of a larger piece I'm working on and said, "This painting keeps getting layers as I battle fear. Any suggestions?" ​

She had a few. And one I already knew​ but didn't trust myself to listen. "Move onto another piece and look at that one from afar." She also helped me by just being a cheerleader and good friend, which I adore her for. The funny thing? I was already doing what she suggested when the message came through​. 

It turned out to work. I pulled my cart out into the living room so I could keep painting while keeping an eye on my mother, and started painting. And yes, I'd get interrupted, and I had a couple errands to run, but in the end, after hours of fun and the sun had set, I began to get that punch-drunk feeling that comes with so many hours of concentrated creativity. You know what I'm talking about; when you stop thinking and just have a good time​. ​​​

That is where this journal spread came from. I got out of my own way​. I stopped thinking about color theory or composition or balance and just had a bit of fun in my journal. This is why art journals are so indispensable. Have you been able to let loose lately? What is holding you back?

​Here are a couple of detail shots from the painting I finished today. I'll share the full thing with you soon...

a library arts education.

Did you know that if your paint feels dry, but is cool to the touch, there's still evaporation going on, still drying?

I feel that huge shift happening and I know it's time to also go deeper with what I learn.

The last time this happened, I enrolled in my first real art class and learned the basics of drawing, composition, and the shift of the artist's eye. I loved it. Even when I hated it, when I cried out of frustration, and wanted to walk away, I loved it. As my teacher said, "Now you can only go up." 

​This time around, I decided to check out my local library & see what they had to offer. I want to learn more about color theory and acrylics (& mediums and how to use them to their limits) so I can bring a new level of maturity to my work & not go through so much uncertainty while working. There is so much to be said of being self-taught, but you have to remember the taught​ part. We can learn to access our imagination & inspiration by ourselves, and understand color, and draw forms, but at some point, you have​ to turn to books or teachers or mentors to get further. The adage is true - you have to learn the rules to break them, and I truly, deeply believe that. If it takes me reading sourcebooks and guides and looking through art collections, going on museum tours and visiting galleries, then I gladly study. 

And you should be learning, too! ​

Browse YouTube, and you'll find all sorts of artists eager to share their wisdom. ​Save up and invest in a local class -- not only will you learn new things, but you'll be plugged into the local art community through the students (I found that community colleges are affordable & your teachers are fascinating!). Take a trip to the library and walk past the mixed media books for the straight up art books to see what you can glean. Become interested in the mediums and tools you are using!

Go deeper! 

I'm learning about how acrylic paints are made. I've always wondered what it meant on the side of them: acrylic polymer emulsion. Why do colors get discontinued? Why are some more expensive than others? Is it worth it to buy those beautiful, expensive paints, or are they all the same under different brand names? ​

Don't you want to know more?​

I do. ​

Done on the iPad. Can you believe it?​

She has sunshine hair.

​I'm still trying to find balance between the new work and what's bursting to be born from me. A lovely follower wrote on a self portrait the other day: 

"Whatever changed you have made in the last 2 months agree with you. :) looking so happy and peaceful lately."

​The answer? Sleep. I'm sleeping through the night, waking with the sun, getting my hands dirty (both on the keyboard & with paint). Now I'm searching for balance, and think using my blog as a daily diary again may help me out. I'm inspired by Kal Barteski's method of blogging, and Sarah Ahern's commitment to do something creative every day in May. 

I was able to get outside to paint this morning, before the hot desert sun encroached on my patio table & I had to pull it all inside.  ​

​I'm going through something new​ with my art, again. I am coming from another point of view, with new tools and ideas. More paint​. Draw and express rather than details and perfection (or the quest for it). 

I painted this girl this morning. She's almost finished, but will have to stay inside where it's cool. ​

TODAY​: Shooting some video for Digital Adventures & finding a cafe to drink something yummy and cool while I sketch. 

YOU ARE WORTHY

AH! I have a blog! Between working on Daring Adventures in Paint (which is awesome, btw, and if you want to paint more & be inspired, I recommend it!)​, keeping up with Digital Adventures, getting Creative Warriors all set for May, & my own need to PAINT ALL THE THINGS (especially with spray paint), I am a crazy woman on the edge of I CAN DO IT / OMG WHAT IS FREE TIME. *laughs* A good fencepost to be balancing on, yes!

I promise to share the deets of my impromptu and magical adventures in Berkeley and San Francisco (not limited to Public Transit is Confusing, Did I Really Get a Ride from a Stranger, Blick Owns My Heart, FACE TO FACE OMG, Magical Artists, & more!)​ this weekend, but for today, I wanted to share an important message. 

Prompted by a comment made by a friend, I filmed this intro for Creative Warrior's April project, and felt it was too important not to share....I even choked up while I was editing. ​I've done a LOT of work on myself, and know what it feels like to feel lazy, useless, or a waste because you need to CHILL OUT and REST (two things that are VERY good for you!). But THEY AREN'T TRUE. YOU ARE WORTHY AND WONDERFUL. So view my video below. 

I'm also sharing a piece I finished today that will be up in the Etsy shop as prints on Monday. ​

Now, I shall attempt to tackle my inbox. *winces but is brave!*​

Walk In Truth -- speed art journal page video

Yesterday, I received a message from a dear reader who's been around for a bit; you may not think it, but I notice the names as I see likes and comments and notes on the blog, ​consider you friends -- without all you, I'd still be a girl making art for herself, not a woman discovering her deeper self and sharing that with the world. 

Darling Rita has cancer, and is beating out her doctor's estimates. She wrote the longest, sweetest message, about her memory in the future (and I must take more time to process and think and dream), and one of the things she mentioned was that she missed me on YouTube. ​

I make a LOT of videos you don't see if you're not enrolled in classes. And I do work for clients, now, doing CHA releases and demo videos and e-classes for others, so YouTube has fallen behind, yes. But Rita's message is the same as others -- and yes, my last test was shaky (sorry!) and this one may be a little unstable (I created a new rigging for my camera; I test with YouTube and perfect for classes/clients!), but I hope to do more little things, tips and peeks and maybe one of these longer videos whenever I can. ​

But! A lot of this spread is stuff I haven't shared. Stuff I have only just figured out -- my colors and style and what goes where and how it goes.....to the point I want to go DEEPER with all this....I'm not just trying to find what works but HOW. ​

Feel free to ask questions in the comments and I will try my best to answer them! ​