{Points of Two Week #9: a sign from above}

Points of Two is an experiment in journaling with myself and Roben Marie! Check out our archives to see the previous weeks' pages.

This week was Roben-Marie and I focused on an instance when we felt God gave us a sign that we were on the right path or when he guided us in the right direction.

It was hard to think of a time, because the Divine can be incredably subtle and nudge you without you even knowing. Those little moments of serendipity, a chance meeting, a missed connection -- these are all helpful nudges from above.

I focused on the idea of a chaotic life needing direction and the myriad of possibilities we're presented with at every moment as I composed this page. I was really thinking and putting my confusion and awe onto the page. There are little things only I know the meaning of, and more apparent hints -- just like these signs!

Finally, I chose the time when I decided to follow my heart and not the money. I stumbled upon a Paper Source near my office, and often went in. Then, when I started to become disenchanted by my job as a property manager (read: landlord's assistant, the one doing all the dirty work), I received comments from the staff about how I'd be a good fit, how they'd love to work with me. The next week, there was a sign saying they were hiring. Next visit, I met the store manager and she gave me an application. On the day I was to start, I walked up to my boss (a VP!) and told her I was leaving. She'd treated me horribly the day before, and that really pushed me to leave.

If I hadn't done that, I would have never discovered art journaling as it is. I would have never learned how to do the covers on a journal you make yourself. This was a clear sign that I was meant for other things, and the one that remains a top change in my life.

Make sure to check out Roben-Marie's blog for her story!

found papers, scrapbooking pages, scrap shapes (mine!) watercolor crayons, dip pen & ink

Roben-Marie's page:

{missing artist returns!}

As you can see, we're switching things up this week. I'll have the live vlog at 4pm on THURSDAY and show some journal pages today.

I've had a doozey of a week. I feel like I need a break from everything even though I haven't been around! For awhile there, looking at the computer screen made my stomach flip flop -- I'm on my laptop now on the couch, using the trackpad and taps since the mouse is broken, and my leg's keeping the one side with the broken hinge from falling over. Such is life. It's kinda hard to use a USB mouse when you're laying on a couch!

Last week, I fell into a terrible flair up, one I kinda saw coming. Note the date on this journal page.

It's quickly become one of my favorite pages, and all I used was paper, scissors, double-sided tape, and watercolor crayons. Crowded, yes, but it gave me an hour and a half of constant distraction, what with all the cutting and taping and random bits of color.

Anyway, I wasn't feeling well, but bounced back. Got back into it. Enjoyed my birthday. Went out with a friend.

But things were more and more painful at the end of the day. I would start a page, and finish it days later. But I need to get things done, get the etsy shop up, pay bills, teach classes. And I like pushing myself, I guess, because I just don't listen.

Wednesday, I decided to FINALLY listen to myself. Took a bath in epsom salts, a candle burning next to me as I tried to fit into my bathtub. Goes to show how long it's been since I've taken one, because, well, I don't fit in a standard American bathtub anymore. Really. When I'd get all myself in, the water level would get up to that little overflow-prevention thingy and start leaking out. Oh, all that warm water going down the drain!

Soaked with a copy of Somerset Studio next to me, put up my hair, and relaxed.

I noticed about four that afternoon that things weren't right. If I looked down, my stomach jumped. I couldn't turn my head. The pain was leaking down my neck to my upper back. By seven, I was sobbing.

And....I emerged on Saturday. I know I watched a lot of DVDs and took my more severe meds, and chatted with people, even made a journal page, but....I have holes. I know the pain was horrible, worse than it has been in awhile. Hell, ever.

last week's Points of Two, done during that hazy time.

I know I felt bad, and kept wanting to go work on stuff, my regular posts, answering emails. And my parents steered me away.

The end, basically, is that I can't work at a desk anymore, hence the broken laptop on the couch. I'm re-evaluating how I can work and make digital media and do web stuff. I'm more angry that I live in a body that restricts me in this way, that I started to actually achieve my dreams and got smacked down. I'm pissed at myself. It's something most can't relate with, and that's what this blog post is -- my venting to a friend. Except it's to a mass of anonymous people online.

So here's my latest page, which I adore, because it's all my favorite colors and shades and pieces and doodles and I FINALLY got the color laser printer to work over the network, and have been playing with Vintage Printable's considerable collection of images. Seriously, have you been there yet? Because there's a ton of eye-candy for use in your journal!

{Points of Two Week #7: What makes you a good friend?}

Points of Two is an experiment in journaling with myself and Roben Marie! Check out our archives to see the previous weeks' pages.

This week, we focused inward, exploring what qualities make us good friends to others.

I surprised myself with this one. I first took to a notebook and began writing about what I thought made me a good friend. There were specific events and generalizations, and some was even petty (as in, I did this for you, and you did this to me?!). I wrote two pages before I got to the main point: that if I'm your friend, I will be honest, supportive, and there for you.

This topic's been on my mind lately because of a very particular thing my friend Jun does (she's the blond in the photo in my blog's header). She has many little bits about her that I love, but she feels she needs to apologize for them all the time. I keep telling her it's okay, that I've accepted her as she is, all the bits included, and that she never has to apologize for anything. Anyway, that came out in the end of my two written pages, and I think it's helped me to understand not only my friendship with Jun, but with my other friends. The power of journaling, right?

I used my fluid acrylics, paper bits, and glue. Pretty basic, right? Most of the papers are either found or from this line of scrapbooking papers I've fallen in love with...what is the name!? Got it! Nook & Pantry by Basic Grey. Great, beautiful papers!

When finishing my page, I ran out of room! So I stapled in the rest for a nice folding paper. I love adding bits like that, and really should do it more often!

And here's Roben-Marie's page for this week!

I got a question via my Formspring.me page asking if they could use our Points of Two as journal prompts. YES YES! That is half the reason we share our prompt along with our pages. To show you how two people may start with the same idea, but create vastly different pages. Please feel free! The archives list all the prompts we've done thus far.

{Journal Thursday: new is defiantly in here in the studio}

 

the center part of the canvas bit I was working on during Tuesday's vlog.

Yes, tis late, but it is also still Thursday, at least from where I'm sitting, which means I'm still on-time.

Does that make sense? My brain's a bit muddled -- I've been working on images and Yudu stuff since I woke up, and I'm a bit tired and fuzzy on...things.

Thank you ALL for your birthday wishes, whether through a comment here, on the Facebook page, or Twitter -- I got them ALL and they made me feel all warm and fuzzy and special and shiny. You all are truly a community of loving people!

Sometime last week, when I was sitting at my table, something amazing happened:

My style took a large change.

Which was surprising and pleasing to me, as I'd gotten a bit bored and needed something new to pop up. I don't exactly know WHAT changed, rather, I can tell you small bits, the changes in technique I've noticed, but as to what exactly, well, I have no idea. Or why. Those are two of those W words that I can't answer.

And, honestly, don't want to answer. That'd be delving too far into something I'd rather remain intuitive and mysterious. Like if I do get the answers to those questions, it'd ruin the fun. Yes, I'd like to know, but I want to discover them by continuing on down the vein and seeing what pops up.

I can tell you what I do like. I like the layering of paper. I like the little bits and pieces that have made their way into the page. I like the layering. I like working with paint through the entire process, and not just at certain points. I like adding drawn imagery. I like the dreamy white.

The way I usually create journal pages is this:

Layer of color.
Layer of collage.
Second layer of color, usually spread with my hands.
Second layer of collage.
Bits & words.

But now, paint has become just as important as the paper I'm putting down, and I'm having tons of fun mixing all sorts of colors to use just as I would a scrap of paper. There's a bit more order, I think, but more fun as I try new things. I'm in-love with die-cuts, as you can see, and they're getting their fair share of page-time (like face-time, yet this is fame for paper. they love it.).

I'm just giddy with excitement as I make new things! There are so many ideas bubbling up in my head, I hardly have time for it all. Like now. I have a journal page to make, but there's cake waiting downstairs. Also, the Yudu screen beeped while I was writing this, so I know the screen's ready for me to use. I want to play with that, too!

And yet, there's only a few hours until bed time. Because someone has a class sample to make and an entire store to make it in. Which is exciting, too! So much to make, so little time. But only because I'm constantly changing, evolving, and going with the flow.

But I did scrap my to-do list on Tuesday, which may be why I'm running so late...

{for the love of die-cuts & other cool papercrafting things}

Last Friday, I got to attend a late night Scrap & Crop at the shop were I'm teaching. I've never done this before, mostly because scrapbooking used to make my skin crawl, with all those pre-cut items and packed sets and planning. I love being random, being messy, so planning things out, trying to get things just right usually doesn't jive.

I had an interesting conversation with Jill, my bridge to the scrapbooking world. While going through the first class I'll be teaching, she found it difficult to just let go and put things down without thinking it through. And I find it hard to think out every little piece I'm going to use, move it around until it's right. I think there's something for both of us to learn, there, from each other, and lately, I can see a bit of this papercrafting sensibility bleeding into my own work.

So I'm at this late night crop, doing a demonstration of my upcoming class, and I've decided to go around the room and show off what I've made – a Valentine's Day paper because I couldn't find one I liked and kinda took it as a challenge. I've never done something quite like this before, and was pretty damn proud of what I made, so off I went.

my awesome v-day paper. or pretty pink one with hearts.

 [download the full-size PNG to print and play with!]

This was all really intimidating because I was an outsider who didn't know anyone, and I was walking around with my art in my hands hoping they'd like it. Really. On the internet, I can't see you – so it's not as hard to put my art and such out there for you to look at. But in person? Yeah. You can totally see their faces and they can ignore you or be like, “Oh, I don't like that.” (And I had one person say that and I was all mature and smiled).

Anyway, I'm wandering, of course, nervous and all that – I had a table with my work up on it and was on display, which still gets me, even though I've done it a few times before. And I find the nice big wall displaying all the die-cut shapes they have. And it's a long wall. It caught my attention a few days before because they've got tabs and scallops and all I could think was how awesome it would be to put some papers like that in my next journal.

And I've grabbed some new papers because there is nothing more awesome than to be working on a page and have an entire store at your disposal for that moment when you can't quite find what you need in your own paper stash. Really. This is horribly dangerous because you end up running around and grabbing all sorts of things and go home with more papers than you started out with.

So I have these papers. And I pick out a few shapes from the wall. And I put it all together and POP – there are my shapes cut out, just for me!

OH MY. Instead of searching for labels or journaling bits or shapes, I could make my own.

Of course, I used them as stencils, too, shapes to work around. I've been loving my regular white acrylic paint, the stuff that comes out of a tube – it's so smooth and creamy and blends awesomely. It's the only hard-body or whatever acrylic I have in my collection, and I've been using the papers I die-cut as stenciled to work around.

totally fun, right? see use of past journal page as scrap. oh, yes, i was making collage papers last night.

It's interesting how, even though I've been using scrapping supplies for years, I am now incorporating the basic ideas of paper crafting into my work. Something I didn't like is now opening up a new way of thinking.

And I think that's important. I felt stagnant, like I was just doing the same thing over and over again, and needed something new. Maybe not inspiration, but an unlocking of my brain.

I think we get put in a corner when we think of ourselves as art journalers or mixed-media artists, working with materials and such others have discovered. It's like when royalty wanted to keep the blood pure, they only married within their families. Gross, yes, I know, but I can't think of a better analogy than that to explain what I'm thinking.

Even at the shop I'm teaching at – the jewelry section has their own classes and such, and the scrapbooking section has their own, and no one crosses between the two because they're each entrenched in their own methods and materials. Except there's so much to learn. Even if it's not your “thing,” I think you need to open yourself up to what's out there because, as creative beings, we can boil it down to technique and intention and port it over to our own stuff.

see? ribbon and a little shape and another used as a stencil in the top corner.

So, now, when I'm working, I'm like, “Oh, what if I used this shape?” and inside, there's a part that says, “You're doing art and it needs to be messy and imperfect and better.”

And another part says, “STFU, you elitist bitch, we need to grow and you're acting like a priss.”

I am nice to myself, I swear. Kind. But being direct works sometimes. I like being direct and honest. It's just the way I am.

Anyway, don't listen to those voices. I play music because they can't shout louder than iTunes blasting from the speakers. Really. They can't. Oh, they try, but I totally ignore them and sing along and just go with the flow.

That seems like the answer to a lot of things. Go with the flow & have faith.

Oh. And tell people to STFU. You're working and they all need to just let you be.

{Journal Thursday: What to do if your critic gets too drunk and starts yelling}

There’s really nothing like starting a new journal. The page is there, and you’re super excited that -- look! shiny and new! -- you just start working from a place of joy. And when you finish, it’s amazing and awesome and you hug your new journal to your chest and sigh, “Ah, a new pretty journal for my adventures.”

That’s totally a sign for your critic to come out. He’s (I say he because mine’s a he, seeing as I’m NOT a he, and therefore, my arguments with him are more amusing) the complete opposite of your muse; picture him as the big guy who comes in and always causes trouble because he had a bad childhood and no mommy and finds it fun to make others feel little.

So this critic comes bumbling in already drunk so he knocks over a few chairs on his way across the room and your muse, bless her (because my talks with her are more amusing), stands up and is totally the bouncer in this situation when she pokes the critic in the chest and tells him to get out.

“Dude,” says the critic, “all your pages are the same colors. Can’t you, you vary things up or something?” He shouts all this over his shoulder as your muse pushes him out the door.

“Don’t listen to him, sweetie,” your muse soothes. “Use your favorite colors all you want.”

But the damn critic’s gotten to you, and all you see when you page through your journals are the same colors used together over and over and over again and gah could there be something to the stupid critic’s comment? Not that you make a practice of listening to the advice of drunk people -- most of the time, it doesn’t even make sense (which is why this is in your headspace; do you think a drunk critic could form a coherent criticism when drunk in reality?).

the good page, full of awesome colors

So I’ve got this drunk critic (yes, this is my headspace because I am not psychic or a vampire or whatever can see into your mind; your secrets are safe)  running around spreading rumors about how I only use certain colors and it’s kinda pissing me off.

“Fine! I will use different colors.”

I shall be honest with you: the page? It SUCKED.

The colors got all muddy because I wasn’t used to blending them. And then, it just looks off because it’s full of stuff I usually don’t like.

See, we’re all drawn to art we like, and we like it all for different reasons. It may be the imagery. Or the composition. Or, yes, the colors. And then when we sit down to create, we replicate what we like. That is the point. The fun of it all. And in a journal, who’s to say we can’t other than a belligerent, tilting inner critic?

Oh.

Anyway, I created this next page with colors I usually don’t ever use and tried to make it work, tried to bring color variety to my journal, my work, and it totally backfired. I really, really hate the page I made. I’m sure there’s something there I like, but overall, not a fan.

uck. what a mess

And this is what happens when you stop listening to yourself and try something you don’t like. Okay. Yes, you have to branch out and create and experiment -- how else will you find something new you like if you don’t try? -- but if you’ve already done that and know you don’t like it, don’t do it just because your critic can’t hold his liquor. Your journal is for you, so make sure he can’t get it. I’m sure simple locks will do (at least in my case. but I don’t give my critic much to go on most of the time.).

Use your favorite color on every page. I’m pretty sure each one will look different even if you have the same three colors. THAT is experimenting, is using your limits to find something new. It’s like this: if you don’t like Thai food, you’re not going to go into a Thai restaurant AND order something completely foreign. That’s just a waste of money because it’ll have peanut in it and you hate peanut in anything but your sandwiches so you make a funny face and wonder why the hell you agreed to this dinner in the first place. Oh, right. That stupid critic again.

So I’m giving you permission to use whatever colors you want all the time no matter what anyone else says. Take that, critic!

{The Many Moods of the Journal (pt. 2)}

The thrilling conclusion to the many moods of the journal! Here are three more "moods" I've found in Journal #11 I felt you may encounter in your own travels.

( Click here to read part one )

The Vent

We all have those days. Work or life throws us a bit too much, and we feel the brunt of bad fortune. Things stack up. Tasks become impossible. We may run home and vent to our loved ones or a close friend, but what if you're stuck in the thick of it, unable to get away?

Your journal is there, ready to listen. And it doesn't say stupid things – in fact, you're always right where your journal's concerned. So grab a pen from the collective pen jar, sit down on a break or at a stoplight, and just go at it. Pour your heart out! Tell your journal all those things you've been meaning to say, want to say, need to say.

The page doesn't need to be pretty or thought-out. Here, I had a simple watercolor-like background I worked on top of. The drawing was a doodle during the Great VIA Taste Test (note the tallies on the top....my official notes as I asked people to taste coffee) at Starbucks in October. Was she colored in when I wrote the page? No! Just a bic pen drawing I stapled in with the store stapler and some writing with a pen I grabbed. (Note: it's a two column layout, I was being “clever.”)

Go back and add some color later, but don't feel as though you need to add a ton. These pages are lovely in their simplicity, and later on, you can have a laugh at how upset you became over something as small as, say, running out of grande/venti lids at a Starbucks during a morning rush.

The Last-Minute

A shorter version of The Vent usually takes place over a messy page meant for something greater (though what that could be, we'll never know). Sometimes, we get interrupted when journaling in the studio, and end up with this great collaged and painted page we totally meant to go back to and never did (time to cook dinner, an appointment you forgot, etc). So it sits in the journal and waits for us to come back to it.

And, of course, distracted, we forget about it until some thought, some sharp emotion, grabs us and brings us to our knees. Searching for a friend, we write messy words on the forgotten page, maybe adding some doomsday illustration (my fearful raindrops, anyone?). Since there's all this space, we can write as large or as small as we want, and usually come back to this page several times over the day (or however long the emotion lasts).

I love the look of these pages, because there's nothing there but raw, true emotion. Beautiful, indeed.

The Semi-Scrapbook

There's no reason your journal shouldn't be like a scrapbook. There are just some events you really want to remember, but your thoughts are bit too personal to put in a scrapbook. Enter the journal! She'll love whatever you have to say, and gets giddy when you show her new friends.

A pre-done page houses this Semi-Scrapbook page. Laid down collage bits act as a natural frame. One thing you'll need to learn when journaling is that sometimes, the content requires you to cover up something you don't want to! On this page, I didn't want to cover the paper behind the photo, but found it was the best place for it. Over the paper it went, and I'm happier for it.

Don't be afraid to write on your photos! They're begging for some alterations themselves, and writing names or pointing to details on the image itself can make it feel way more personal! Here, I point out who is in the picture – my friends and myself – and actually chose this shot for the extra space it afforded me at the top.

But the writing, I think, is what distinguishes it from a scrapbook page. I write about long-held emotions, deeper thoughts, and some personal stuff I wouldn't want to show friends paging through beautiful, clean layouts. There are scribbles and arrows, doodles and mistakes. This is how I want to remember that day – and my art journal offers the perfect hybrid between writing about the day in a social diary and laying out the picture for a visual record.

--

And now, I am off to read more magical adventures in Victorian England before an early night (as I work at 4:30am tomorrow!). Check back in the next two days for the next installment of the bookbinding video!

{The Many Moods of the Journal (pt. 1) }

Journal #11 wanted to come out to play. Leafing through the pages in search of a few to post, I noticed there were different "kinds" of pages; while they all feel like mine, have that cohesiveness that I used to fear would never come, they certainly have different moods. I think a lot of this has to do with a few key factors:

• location (working, on the couch, in the studio)
• aim (regular page, escape, sketching)
• materials (again, look at location)

And then this idea was born. A way to show you that a journal isn't something you create in a studio, with a singular aim in mind. It is a chronicle of your life, and goes with you on the ups and downs, through the fog, and to the bank. There will be slow days and frenzied days. You will want to discover something or figure things out. So here are a few of the moods found in my journal; I hope they help you out on your own journey.

Check back tomorrow for the other half!

The To-Do List

Need to get things done? Have groceries or errands you need to run? Why not throw your to-do list into your journal?

Whether you carry your journal everywhere with you or keep it in the studio, you're pretty sure to look at it at least once a day. Flipping through the pages, you're sure to see your to-do list now and then, and putting it in your journal makes sure you'll never lose it. And why carry a journal AND notepad when you can combine everything into one important book?

Placing the list in your journal also gives it greater importance; this list won't be thrown away or forgotten....it is there whenever you look back through your pages, through completed journals, constantly reminding you of what you did (or didn't) accomplish. And writing it on a beautiful journal page helps nudge you in the right direction, almost taunting you to get things done!

The Mess

Sometimes, life becomes chaotic, a whirlwind you cannot escape. Trapped in a sandstorm of obligation, daily demands, work, home, and emotion, it can become hard to find your True North. Unable to find yourcompass, you wander through life in a half-alive state, using your hands to feel your way around. It can become completely overwhelming, and your journal may be the only thing your blinded eyes can trust.

Sitting down to figure things out, the chaos may migrate from your mind to the page. Working from instinct, everything's fair game. You grab scraps, paint palettes, fabric, whatever you can reach! Things get ripped, torn apart, randomly scribbled. Colors aren't thought out or "complimentary." An idea that seemed perfect when you beganmay change halfway through. Your internal struggle is reflected on the page.

When you finish, you notice you're stuck in a sandstorm and have a map in front of you to guide you through it. Whereas before, things may have been too confusing, uneasy emotions unexplainable, now, you know where you are, where things are coming from, and how to find your center.

Messy pages are great to look back on, as the chaos is terribly beautiful.

The Sketchbook

Not every page is prepped and ready to go when the urge strikes. Sometimes, you just want to DRAW. Play around. Sketch random things -- girls, monsters, cuteness,your dog. So, you turn to a blank page in your journal, pull out a pen or pencil, and just GO. The page may become cluttered with tiny wings, delicatefaeries , or practiced handwriting. Mine are filled with practiced girl faces and eyes as I try to find my style. While many come out to my satisfaction, they aren't repeatable -- they aren't naturally replicable.

What happens next, though? Do you gesso over it and make a page?

NO!

Tis just another mood of the journal. Here are a few things you can do:

1. I like to color in my images! Use watercolors, crayons, colored pencils....something that helps preserve the original pencil/pen/sketchy nature of the page.

2. Collage around the edges.

3. Write over it.

These unfinished, raw pages are a welcome change from the painted, prepped pages.

The Couch Potato

Ugh. You've worked/run errands/been out all day. The last thing you want to do is sit at your art table and work. Why not gather some supplies and sit down in that night, comfortable chair or -- even better -- snuggle up under a blanket on the couch? The urge to journal doesn't always coincide with your body's ability to sit at a desk with "proper" supplies.

With some pens, scissors, and scraps, it is easy to create an alluring, authentic page over a prepped page. Doodle and write where you'd normally worry about what colors to use, techniques to make your page "right." This kind of journaling can be the most relaxing....comfortable, near others, working while enjoying a movie, your mind can wander farther than normal, going to new places with your creativity.

It doesn't matter what's under the words and doodles, just WHAT you create. Let loose. Take an hour to play with blending or draw mandalas all over the page. This mood of the journal and be combined with The Sketchbook, but is usually more writing-based. There are no even edges, no bright colors. Just words and lines and cut circles while you truly communicate with yourself.