Okay, first, my scanner isn't connecting to my computer. This might have to do with the fact that, in order to plug in my netbook AND the secondary lamp for my vlog last Tuesday, I unplugged the printer. Things always get weird when you unplug things...and my printer/scanner is wireless, which is awesome and reduces the need for cords, but ultimately causes issues when you go to scan. I don't really have the patience to sit there and argue with it, so a photograph is what you get this week. I'll get it scanned properly later.
For this week, Roben-Marie suggested writing a thank you note to ourselves. Which was hard, and partly why this week's post is so late in the afternoon. I was only awake for 6 or 7 hours yesterday; I didn't sleep Wednesday night, and all day yesterday, I was so achy it hurt to move. Plus, I had mad muscle twitches playing an instrument along my upper right arm, and another health thing a bit too embarrassing to talk about.
So, to be blunt, I was pissed at myself. How could I even begin to write a thank you note to someone I was angry at?
Today, I'm feeling much better, but still tired and a bit unsteady on my feet. I have my journal, some Copics, and a pencil case next to me, and have been doodling and zentangle-ing while in a comfy chair. Do I wish I were up and able to paint? You betcha! Connie's been posting about BIG a lot lately, and inspired me to grab some big paper and paint. I only wish I could afford her class!
Yesterday, I was able to create this page AND play with my new Copic airbrush system. It is SO COOL. I'm in love. I may become an airbrusher yet! And my dad revealed an old oilless compressor that used to be used at his office by the graphic designers with THEIR marker airbrush systems, and so now I'm itching to get the adapter so I can spray to my heart's desire. Since I'm all about conserving my can of air. *sigh* So much I want to do!
But I was finally able to write my thank you note, thanking me for being patient, for putting on my brave face even when I'm crumbling inside, for going along with me, for being honest with myself, even when those honest thoughts can be mean. We're not all perfect, and as my art and approach changes, I must be patient with myself even when frustrated.
Phew! Long post for a little thing, huh? Can you see why I've been huddled in the pages of my journal? There's so much in there I need to work out...
And Roben-Marie's page!