We’re working through our second still life in drawing class this week, this one with the full range of shade values — the first only had three.

I’m finding myself challenged. In a good way.

When was the last time you were learning something so interesting, you wanted to work through the struggle to get to the other side? When you were so engaged, hours could pass in the blink of an eye? And I’m not talking about learning on your own, where the pace is set by the books you check out from the library and the blogs you read, but a class, where there’s structure and an instructor, and grades.

Oh, yes. This girl is getting graded. Which is always a challenge when you’re a bit of a perfect student. My college GPA was a 3.975, which bugged me (though my final semester was straight A’s!). Despite taking this class for personal enrichment, I’m striving to get a good grade, to do good work, and be liked by my teacher. Which is hard when you’re always asking for help. Input. Pointers. I want to amaze.

I want to prove I’m an artist.

I know, I know. But I think some part of me wonders, “If you don’t do well in this class, are you really an artist? Do you really have talent?”

But the other part of me is thrilled at all I’m learning. For example, when I was editing the above photo, my eyes were drawn to the black vase on my artwork. I had to do a double-take — is it me, or can you see the light reflecting off it, the shading, the light? Did I really do that?

Yes, I did. And I will keep trying, keep drawing, keep showing up to class, because I want to be challenged and stretched and grow as an artist.

And as I prep for my first free demo at Jerry’s Artarama here in Tempe, I know how you, as students, want to be taught.