i am taking an internet break for myself.
i need to check in with myself
from a place without
or other artists to see
a place with a floor as
soft as grass
and a sky of pure cobalt blue.
i need to take several walks a day, learn to journal again with just a pen and a piece of paper
and know this is for me
and not pretty pages meant to
make me a "name"
or up stats & comments.
i think this is a trap we all fall into. and it is a trap we must escape by taking some time for ourselves away from the online world, go back out into nature, to those coffee houses we love. this is not withdrawing. it is pulling all the fragmented pieces of yourself, pieces created by busy weeks, stress, calls that pull you in so many directions, you feel weak in the knees, it is pulling these pieces back into yourself, caressing them, singing them to sleep. giving them time to fall back into place. and when you're refreshed, you're strong and confidant with your soul whispering in your ear, that is when you can come back and inspire and paint and laugh over bottles of gesso and paint with your friends.
i will try for a week. i will succeed for a few days; of this i'm sure.
i'll still be checking and sending emails as i want to have layout finished this week for my fall issue. if i owe you a package, it will be sent monday -- sorry for the delay. if i owe an email, it will also be sent tomorrow. i am tired. fragmented. weak because i am missing pieces of myself i can only recapture with the sweet nectar of self-expression.
and perhaps a few hours of stargazing.