{ journal page #9.1 }

May 13, 2009 kira

Whee! Welcome to the first page in my current journal! Here’s what went into the creation of this page: 1. Wrote on the blank page with sumi-e ink. Covered with gesso. 2. Splashed and played with watercolors in red, pinks, and oranges. This allowed the big writing to show through in places. Tinted white areas with Fresco Creme Golden Glaze 3. Pasted down some scrap papers hanging around the studio, as well as a page from a spiral journal scrapbooking thingy. 4. Dry-brushed gesso over the papers. Since the watercolors were still kinda wet, they swirled in with it. 5. Stenciled the bird in with gesso. 6. Doodled left-hand border. 7. Wrote with ink at the bottom, then journaled

{ new discoveries: breaking established thought patterns & freeing your creativity }

March 24, 2009 kira

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="journal spread; girl inspired by a painting by britt hermann"]

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I must apologize -- I've been holding out on you.

After snapping and editing photos taken during my lunch break today (at 8:30am!), I count 12 or so pages I haven't yet shared with you. The reason is simple -- I stopped creating to jump up and share and just...had fun. I've been making more and more messes lately, trying to branch out and create more than flat, 2-D pieces.

I live on the floor, now.

The tables around me create the feeling of living in a hole, creating art in a secret, seculded place. I've always been the oposite of clastaphobic; at a friend's sleep over party in a hotel room, my spot was stretched out under the small wooden desk. Sheet forts dominated my bedroom. There's something magical about a small spot. You are protected. Contained. It is easy to forget about the outside world when in such a space, easy to pretend you're in a magical world. A princess in a tower. An explorer in the hull of a ship.

I like to see myself as a rogue artist living in a small apartment in an imaginary city, in a house full of other artistic types. We live on the outside edges of society and use what we can find. There's no thought given to the rules of society, of how things are supposed to be done.

These imaginings free me. Moving from my table to the floor removes all those rules my mother taught me, about not getting paint on the table, or getting things all over the place, or splotching and spraying.

"You'll ruin the table! The floor! Oh, my, look at how you've spilled on the paper! Use a paintbrush, not your hands! Kira, Kira, don't make a mess!" cries the Mom-voice in my head.

So I moved to the floor, on a small circle mat used for a chair on carpeting. Cheap. Replaceable. And easy to clean! Down there, in my magical spot, I can get watercolors all over the place, throw pages around. Sqirt paint from a tiny bottle on anything I want. Cut papers with abandon, and use them to soak up the pools of paint all over the place!

Stop thinking about where to put things, or if it'll be "ruined."

Yes, there is stress in the first steps, but it DOES help to remove yourself from these places we're used to treating a certain way.

If the weather allows, I recommend packing up your supplies and moving outside.

For some reason, it's easier for us to make messes in the grass, where no one will see, were it's already "messy" because of nature. You can throw paint across your backyard if you want to!

Here's the "finished" background, or, rather, the point I stopped at. In the next few days, it'll be covered with doodles, drawings, words, and photos. In letting go, I've created something I've always wanted to, something that makes me smile -- that I want to hang and preserve and continue on. And it all came from

removing myself from an established pattern of thinking.

I found this plain black messenger bag at a thrift shop and spiced it up with some fabric and my favorite phrase of all time:

be free

Take it where you will. Just remember to do it, in every moment of the day, with all your endevors. Free yourself from thought patterns, society's rules and restrictions, from the boundaries you put on yourself. Just free yourself.

{ I'll be posting the pages on the Journal Girl ML daily as part of my new initive of creating everyday. Check it out if you haven't already. My mini "this is how I did this page" fun starts tomorrow! }

{ merry mess-making }

March 16, 2009 kira

A new layout. I don't know if I'm satisfied with it as of yet...I don't have much time left tonight to tinker, as I have to work in the morning (4 am, yipee!). But I was sad over not having a pretty header, so I searched for days, looking for one that would fit one nicely. Idealy, I'd love something like this one, but we'll see. Last night, I ran up to the studio with a pile of new supplies, ready to work....except I felt constricted on my desk, even though it's pretty big! So I gathered up things and moved to the circle chair mat on the floor with some of my favorite bits and pieces.

With my cute knitted mary jane slippers on my feet, I squirted, mushed, smeared, and sprayed watercolors all over the collaged papers in my journal. Teenage Kira and I are still doing good on our agreement -- no acrylics whatsoever, and I'm using patterned papers again -- and seem to be getting along better. We converse better when the music's pumping and I'm just doing.

I've got to tell you: there really IS something to this mess-making thing. When pools of watercolor sat on the page, I actually lifted the journal and shook it in the air -- I splashed it EVERYWHERE -- letting the paint go where it may. Totally fun! Turn off your brains and just GO FOR IT!

Can you tell which are the new ones? They'd be the pretty ones -- I carry my crayons around a LOT in a plastic holder and they get bits of each other on each other from simply being near one another.

Have you ever wondered about that? How simply meeting someone or being near a stranger can change things? Simply seeing a journal page can spark limitless bounds of creativity. An overhead conversation springs forth an entire novel. Human beings spread bits of their souls through contact. Conversation. People watching.

Here's the page a bit later on. The circles are cupcake liners I had on the floor from a failed attempt at creating a cupcake garland (does anyone know how to do this? I can't get it to work!!), both pressed into wet watercolors at different stages. The photo was printed on my new color laser printer (mmmm!). I sqirted watered-down watercolor paint onto the page, smeared it with my hands, then shook the journal in the air to let it go all over the place.

I painted gesso over a stencil and tried doing a resist with my watercolor crayons, but I think it only works with acrylics -- nice to know! The girl's on a piece of paper with buttons sewn as her hair ties. I pasted it all down, and stopped thinking about keeping things "clean." Let things bleed over. It will all work out in the end.

Well, I need to get ready for bed! Can you believe that? I'm going to bed soon and it's only 7:30!

love, kira

{day 50: zine changes, journal #6, & everyday magic}

February 19, 2009 kira

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="playing with sumi-e ink on layered pages"]

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Days have been spent working in my journal. Being bound the Easy-Peasy way, I have 2 clear "section" where the gap stands between signatures: one is for beautiful art, paint, and flowing ink; the other, for words. For ages, I've written that I want to write more, and even made it one of my new year's goals. Lately, the words have begun to flow from me just as easily as paint and ideas. I have new faith in myself and my path. Fatigue and problems and drama had me doubting myself, questioning if art and journaling would simply be a hobby, or if it would grow to something more.

I think it is. Always growing, my seed has become a tiny sapling.

Changes @ Page by Page

I'd like to announce the addition of the wonderful and amazingly-knowlegeable Dawn Sokol as my co-pilot on the adventure of Page by Page. This came after some deep contimplation on my part and a moment of sarendipity when we realized we both wanted to do the same things.

Partnering with her will help keep me on-target and allow us to publish more than one issue a year! The outlines are already in place: please let us know if you have any suggestions or would like to submit something -- this is truely a community effort.

Journal #6

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="381" caption="the new journal's cover page"]

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Odd thing is, there is no journal #5!

I thought this was #6 of the completed journals, but found out later it isn't. Oh, well! I created this one the Easy-Peasy way, not wanting to take the time to do a proper hardcover binding -- I wanted a new journal to work in right away! Call me impatient, but this is a great step for me, as I used to fret if there were any imperfection in my work and journals. Yes, the signatures are a bit loose, and the cover paper is peeling off, and the paper's all different sizes, but I adore it for it's imperfections. Celebrate the things that make you uneasy -- they are blessings in disguise. Rather than write here about the major changes in my life, here are the journal pages dealing with them. Click for larger versions @flickr.

Everyday Magic

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="bare feet, twirling skirt, and my new magic wand"]

[/caption] I think my father thought me mad when I squeeled in delight and rushed to grab this magic wand. Grinning, I asked him which I should get, and he chose this one -- blue and sparkly. Nothing like a 25 year old woman (as of Tuesday -- I can't wait for cake!) bouncing up and down because of a cheap wand. But I realized I need more magic in my life. So many moments of sarendipity have happened in the last week that I can't help but see magic everywhere.

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely.

I use this word because I don't believe in coincidences, I believe in Fate. And isn't it just a beautiful word? Try saying it to yourself a few times over. Serendipity. Serendipity. Serendipity. I felt more alive, creative, and artful dancing around my studio with my new wand by candlelight than I have in the last few days of repetitive-feeling journal pages. Try doing something completly different, outside your normal experiance, in order to find your hidden creativity.

More to come...

I know I said this before, but I have more up my sleeve. I've begun writing a series of essays, or "chapters," on some new things I've discovered that has reinvigorated my creative life and journaling experiance. And since it's already written, I can say you won't be waiting 16 days for the next post from me!

Until next time, remember, you are loved and perfect exactly how you are. And I give you permission to: