{the friendship bracelet}

 

I was out walking the dogs when I heard voices coming from my neighbor’s porch. It’s nestled under the stairs and front porch of the apartment above, lined with cacti and plants. I found her sitting out there with the three girls from upstairs and her granddaughter, a bright 10-year-old wild with energy and climbing all over the porch walls. 

Spread out on the table were pieces of gessoed canvas, watercolor crayons, ribbons and threads and markers and cards.

How could I happen upon such a magical, artistic glen right next to my new home?

And so I grabbed my paints and stencils and journal and joined them. We shared dinner and drank margaritas (well, the adults did!) and talked about life and creativity. One of the girls is a reflection of me at her age, back when I was in high school and covered in beads, speaking Japanese, and wishing I could visit Japan.

Near the end of the night, when the girls had left, the little one asked me to braid her a bracelet with embroidery floss. My grandmother used to buy me floss and I’d sit in the summer with threads safety-pinned to my jeans, twisting and tying the threads.

And there and then, I decided I wanted one to wear myself.

The next morning, after running some errands, I ran into her again.

“I want to finish my bracelet,” I said to her, walking towards the patio.

“Who is it for?”

“Myself!”

She stopped and looked at me. “You can’t make one for yourself! It’s a friendship bracelet.”

I decided, as I finished it, that I was going to give it to myself as a friend. I am so loving and understanding of my friends (I strive to be, but I can’t say for certain since I’m only on my side of my friendships!).

So I am now treating myself as my own best friend.

I have a fantastic, wonderful best friend back in Illinois name Jun. She’s the sister I wish I had, a woman I adore and love and wish were here with me. We have a lot in common but enough different so that we’re always discovering new parts of ourselves through each other. We’re accepting of each other’s flaws and imperfections, and are comfortable in silence.

With her so far away, I am going to be my own best friend. When I have a negative thought, I’m going to pull from that amazing friendship I have with Jun to be gentle with myself, comforting, accepting. But also encouraging and real.

And every time I look at this bracelet, I will remember all this. All I’ve experienced, and all the friends out here I’m beginning to bring into my life.

{points of two #41: hang it out...}

Points of Two is an experiment in journaling with myself and Roben Marie! Check out our archives to see the previous weeks' pages.

This week’s theme came from Roben-Marie - inspired by images of clotheslines she found online. What do we need to hang outside? What can we get out of our lives by taking that first step of hanging them within sight but out of reach?

I have all these feelings, stemming, I think, from childhood and an adolescence marked by learning limitation, of not being good enough even though I know I am. I was chatting about this with Dawn this week, and while I know intellectually I can do this and be all I want and do the work that is amazing, sometimes these old feelings, hanging on like barnacles, show themselves and take over everything.

There have been many changes in my life lately, and I’m learning to be comfortable with myself. Used to others with me, around me, to talk to and bounce things off to, I’m trying to navigate all this by myself. And yes, I do talk to my dogs!

And here's Roben-Marie's page! 

{the experiments journal #3: the finished big canvas & fabric edging for a journal page!}

I love that I'm using these videos as a visual documentation of many of my experiments. I get an idea, thinking it out, and then film me trying it out. These are not perfect, polished bits -- they're the real deal, the raw creativity that happens almost every day. 

*Disclaimer: My actual sewing for journals, etc, is much, much neater! 

I added the blue fabric patch after the video was over. Here's a few lovely glamor shots. 

I also sipped a glass of wine while admiring my finished painting! It's the largest I've ever done, and am already thinking about my next one!

The colors are much richer/diverse than in the photo. I'm still working out how PS5 works on a PC (oh, how I miss my Mac!). 

And I love this detail shot, how the writing is coming through the layers! Oh, I just love what I've managed to create! This, too, is available. 

Tomorrow is a full day full of friendship, as is Thursday! I'm a lucky woman to be meeting with such fun and creative ladies over the next 2 weeks!

{being transformed}

Last week, I officially became an Arizonian!

And I managed to take a GREAT license picture.

I also ventured to the Tempe Public Library, an impressively large, newly-renovated library where the library cards are not only designed by local artists, but you can choose which design you like most for your card.

Score!

While searching for books and running around the stacks as I worked down my list, I found the most amazing book: When Walls Become Doorways: Creativity and the Transforming Illness by Dr. Tobi Zausner. The book contains little profiles on artists and how they create art despite disability or illness and HOW they beat all odds to create when faced with difficulty. As I began to read, I became more and more enthralled with the idea that I, too, could create despite my limitations.

For years, I have pushed myself to sit at a desk and work, or stand and paint against a wall. And while I love creating, and have painted and drawn and collaged in such ways, I felt ucky after, or had to leave while in the flow due to pain. How, then, could I create without causing myself unnecessary pain?

I already wrote while sitting in my comfortable recliner, so why couldn’t I paint?

So I grabbed the drawer tower thingy I got at Walmart and plunked it down next to my chair in the living room. Pulled out the paints and stacked them on top, treating it like a table. Now, I’d have all my supplies close at hand and could remain comfortable while painting!

With my paint near the TV, I could paint while watching my favorite Primetime shows (I’m currently listening to Castle!)! And, amazing thing - I was more productive!

According to Zausner, people with ADD can usually find it easier to focus when music, media, or the spoken word is played in the background - and I agree, though I’ve never officially been diagnosed with ADD. By letting something play in the background, I don’t get “bored.” Usually, when reading or writing or doing art, I’ll be in the flow and then my brain will grab onto something else - I’ll check Twitter, my email, or just daydream - before I go back to what I’m working on. With music playing or the TV on, I can be much more productive and focused.

Which shouldn’t be a huge surprise, seeing as I’ve done most of my writing while watching my shows at night. But it was a breakthrough to me. 

And what else could I do to promote self-care? How do you take those limitations or disabilities and turn them into a fresh, unique piece of artwork? When I move to make art, now, I allow myself to be me - completely and totally me, with whatever supplies I have and how I’m feeling - and make my art.

These new journals I’m making are a singular piece of art through smaller parts. I allow mistakes and new ideas and non-standard sizes. Instead of seeing my shaking hands and lack of proper foot on the machine as a negative, I’m using it as a positive to make art instead of simply a product. I am more joyful in creating, more open.

My style is now influenced by all the new scenery around me, the plants foreign to me. Loops and solid colors and less collage. I will work through it, add more and more of myself to it, but I’ve dived in, laughed, and allowed change. It’s an amazing feeling.

So now I’m making smaller 6”x6” pieces on paper that are available. I’m putting myself out there. If you’re interested, leave a comment. Pay what you’d like. And I’ll make more feathers and flowers and put them out there, too.

Even if I’m petrified to come straight out and say to shop owners, “Your store is amazing and I’d love to teach here!”

{points of two week #40: junk!}

Points of Two is an experiment in journaling with myself and Roben Marie! Check out our archives to see the previous weeks' pages.

This week's theme was junk, inspired by Roben-Marie finding a grunged-up post card in a parking lot. 

Seeing as I just moved, I don't have much junk floating around past receipts from the cross-country drive, I did my page about the help I've been getting from locals. At Jerry's Artarama, one of the cashiers drew me a little map to Tempe Sales, this amazing hole-in-the-wall interior fabric shop. I can't get over all the inspiring (and cheap!) shops in Tempe! 

In fact, there's an entire page in my journal filled with directions to stores both known (Michaels, Jo-Ann's) and unknown given to my by Dawn last week while we were out for Starbucks. So these are the things in the bottom of my purse that I treasure for the intent of kindness and excitement between artists behind them all. 

And here's Roben-Marie's page with the postcard. Isn't it fab? I love the lettering for junk!

Has it already been a week? Here's the BIG canvas as of this afternoon...

I'm almost finished!

There is one last thing I'd like to say today. 

I've been getting emails from people who participated in the Small Art Penpal Swap who never received art from their partners. Around 7 people have emailed me, and I get sad with each one. So if you haven't gotten anything or if you forgot or haven't sent anything out yet, PLEASE let me know (and tell me who your partner is). All my records are on my desktop computer, but I will do my best to figure this all out. 

{the experiments journal #2: liquitex ink!, fun patterns, playing with color}

Just a little more fun from the sunny desert! I go over Liquitex Ink!, paintings, and fun with color! 

I'll be putting paintings up next week. This week is for color study and play. Sometimes, your play and time isn't all about the finished product. I'm loving playing with color and thinking differently, and can't wait to try some new ideas out in my journal! This one's certainly getting filled with fun, and fast! 

As soon as my sewing machine arrives, I'll be putting up custom journals - both sewn and ring-bound - screenprinted fabrics, and little paintings. I cannot WAIT to get these ideas out of my head and into the real world!

{wouldn't it be fun to ... ?}

I've felt a metamorphosis of late, not only a shift in the colors I choose, but how I use them. I'm not talking about adding a new mix of colors to an approach already discovered, but using acrylics in a new way. 

Instead of doing washes, or random areas of paint with my hands, or applying fluid acrylics over collaged items, I'm going for blocks of color. There's no real method here, other than the thicker and more opaque the better; I choose a color almost blindly -- without forethought, not sight -- and apply it to the page. 

My journal has become key during the last week or so, a safe haven for me to experiment in, to make a mess, try new things, explore this new way of thinking. And I love that about my journal -- that there's no pressure, no reason other than to play and experiment. To make mistakes. I've gone through phases while working on these pages where I hate what's happening - that it's not going in the direction I want (and why am I bringing that kind of thought into it in the first place?), but I just keep going. 

A lot of it is fueled by this: "Wouldn't it be fun if...?" 

Such as: "Wouldn't it be fun to make shapes and then add white everywhere?" 

"Wouldn't it be fun to write over stenciled shapes?" 

"Wouldn't it be fun to add a bit of orange?" 

I can't even begin to tell you how freeing it is to approach art this way - with fun in mind, not the final product. 

And it goes past art. Such as yesterday's, "Wouldn't it be fun if we went to the dog park?" 

Or maybe, "Wouldn't it be fun to work on the floor?" 

"Wouldn't it be fun to have ice cream for lunch?" 

Try asking yourself questions with this approach, if only once today. Don't censor yourself, or allow your inner Grown-Up to hit the idea down. Just see something and wonder...

Wouldn't it be fun? 

The answer is a resounding 

YES. 

(Check out more detail photos of these pages here.)

{the experiments journal #1}

I used to love vlogging! And while I'm without proper video equipment, I thought, "Why not just play?" So I did just that. Which is why this series is called The Experiments Book. Taking a cue from the book I created to try new things in, this weekly vlog series will be about me playing with new things -- from discovering awesome papers to mixing inks, follow along with my artful adventures!