{day 50: zine changes, journal #6, & everyday magic}

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="playing with sumi-e ink on layered pages"][/caption]

Days have been spent working in my journal. Being bound the Easy-Peasy way, I have 2 clear "section" where the gap stands between signatures: one is for beautiful art, paint, and flowing ink; the other, for words. For ages, I've written that I want to write more, and even made it one of my new year's goals. Lately, the words have begun to flow from me just as easily as paint and ideas. I have new faith in myself and my path. Fatigue and problems and drama had me doubting myself, questioning if art and journaling would simply be a hobby, or if it would grow to something more.

I think it is. Always growing, my seed has become a tiny sapling.

Changes @ Page by Page

I'd like to announce the addition of the wonderful and amazingly-knowlegeable Dawn Sokol as my co-pilot on the adventure of Page by Page. This came after some deep contimplation on my part and a moment of sarendipity when we realized we both wanted to do the same things.

Partnering with her will help keep me on-target and allow us to publish more than one issue a year! The outlines are already in place: please let us know if you have any suggestions or would like to submit something -- this is truely a community effort.

Journal #6

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="381" caption="the new journal's cover page"][/caption]

Odd thing is, there is no journal #5!

I thought this was #6 of the completed journals, but found out later it isn't. Oh, well! I created this one the Easy-Peasy way, not wanting to take the time to do a proper hardcover binding -- I wanted a new journal to work in right away! Call me impatient, but this is a great step for me, as I used to fret if there were any imperfection in my work and journals. Yes, the signatures are a bit loose, and the cover paper is peeling off, and the paper's all different sizes, but I adore it for it's imperfections. Celebrate the things that make you uneasy -- they are blessings in disguise. Rather than write here about the major changes in my life, here are the journal pages dealing with them. Click for larger versions @flickr.

Everyday Magic

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="bare feet, twirling skirt, and my new magic wand"][/caption] I think my father thought me mad when I squeeled in delight and rushed to grab this magic wand. Grinning, I asked him which I should get, and he chose this one -- blue and sparkly. Nothing like a 25 year old woman (as of Tuesday -- I can't wait for cake!) bouncing up and down because of a cheap wand. But I realized I need more magic in my life. So many moments of sarendipity have happened in the last week that I can't help but see magic everywhere.

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely.

I use this word because I don't believe in coincidences, I believe in Fate. And isn't it just a beautiful word? Try saying it to yourself a few times over. Serendipity. Serendipity. Serendipity. I felt more alive, creative, and artful dancing around my studio with my new wand by candlelight than I have in the last few days of repetitive-feeling journal pages. Try doing something completly different, outside your normal experiance, in order to find your hidden creativity.

More to come...

I know I said this before, but I have more up my sleeve. I've begun writing a series of essays, or "chapters," on some new things I've discovered that has reinvigorated my creative life and journaling experiance. And since it's already written, I can say you won't be waiting 16 days for the next post from me!

Until next time, remember, you are loved and perfect exactly how you are. And I give you permission to:

{day 34: a finished journal}

I've jumped around so many times in journals, it's rare I finish one. With my most recent one, I stuck to it, learning from the experience, and finally finished! Tomorrow, I'll tell you about the new one I made and the great supplies I found -- I completed it for $3! For now, enjoy this page-by-page view!

{ organic alterations }

Organic Alteration: the creation of artwork from scratch, using only patterns and papers created by an artist, the combination of hand-made elements to change the face of a journal page or piece.

This is all Hanna's fault.

A few weeks ago, I made myself a new journal with paper suggested by Roben-Marie while I was interviewing her for the most recent issue of Page by Page (available to the public TOMORROW!), and started painting and generally having fun. Before binding it, however, I cut down two sheets and splashed paint, ink, water, spray-paint, and whatever else I could find on them to use as end papers. Things didn't work out how I'd liked, so the sheets became patterned collage papers for journal use.

It was then that I read Hanna's review of Collage Unleashed by Traci Bautista while wandering around her blog. One sentance jumped out at me:

"In her collages she does not use any magazine images, drawings or even ephemera or photos. Traci makes her own papers (and painted fabrics) that she combines in a more naive, fun and non-figurative way."

This got me thinking: what if I didn't use any magazine images or ephemera in my journal?

I wasn't ready to leap past that and take out photos or drawings, and just removing magazine images and ephemera from my stash has proven to be difficult enough. I've been creating for the last two weeks using mostly patterned paper I've created myself, paints, and quick drawings in my journal, and let me tell you -- a switch-up like this is HARD!

No collage sheets, vintage photograph heads, magazine cut-outs....more than half my stash is gathering dust. I've started to allow myself to use small amounts of scrapbook & old papers, but feel like I'm "cheating" if I rely too heavily on them.

For border sheets, etc, I've created doodle sheets -- writing and doodling on a page until every inch is covered, then covering it with a thin acrylic glaze in several colors. I've also been making copies of old journal pages to use for these colorful patterned papers I'm used to using as my borders & shapes. I've also been using my markers and water-color crayons more to create swirls, doodles, and handwriting on my pages. For faces, I've also drawn some and made copies to use over and over again.

Taking a page from Randi's Wide Open, I staged a photo shoot in my hallway. Basically, you set up your camera on a tripod, hit the timer, and run in front of it to pose before it snaps a photo. Sometimes, your poses are clear. Other times, the timer's up while you're still moving. Ten minutes of this gave me 15 photos to alter, color, cut-out, and paste into my journal. Using your own head for a journal paper doll (my term for Teesha's characters) makes it so much more personal -- it's no longer an image representing your feelings, but you experiancing and sharing them.

Going from using the types of images I've been using for the last, oh, I don't know, four years, to limiting myself to these Organic Alterations has been challenging but VERY rewarding. I feel like, by limiting myself, I'm stretching how I see and share images and journal pages. It takes a lot more work, but I've got that push I've missed since beginning. Insanity is defined by doing the same thing expecting different results; this new method of journaling has helped me push past the same old pages into new, undiscovered territory.

My goal is to complete this journal in such a way, which is ambicious in two ways: a. I haven't truely completed a journal in a year and a half (I bounce to something new too fast), and b. keeping to a set of restrictions such as these is going to get hard, and I'll have to stay comitted to keep from giving up when the going gets tough.

I'll be updating my Etsy shop tomorrow with the first 5 hand-embelished journal bags (three of them being from the article in Altered Couture), a couple journals, and some collage jewelry! I'm really excited to have a diverse set of items up for sale. I'm thinking of creating kits -- one being to make felt and journal fabric charms and jewelry (as I've had fun creating my own collage sheets on fabric), pattered and doodle collage sheets, and maybe DIY journal kits that would have corresponding videos. If you missed the Artistic Alchemy workshops, I'll be putting the workbook up for sale next week.

But the BIG NEWS for tomorrow's update is the release of Page by Page #3! I'll be putting up a video with a "preview" of this issue's contents -- I'm really, really excited as there's TONS of stuff in this issue, and I hope all the issues to follow will just continue this growing trend. I'm also up for suggestions on who YOU would like to see interviewed next!

See my flickr account for more exaples & pages from this journal thus far!

{ swimming against the tide }

Watch out! I've got my mojo back! I've still got a headache and am feeling lethargic, but I just could not stand another day of not doing art. It was beginning to really get to me!

A little over a week ago, I painted some pages, did spray paint on them, and left them alone. I've been adding little by little...a doodle here, a photo there, some wire where I can (I love the spiral binding...I've been using more 3-D elements). With me being so tired, this simply made it easier to work on stuff. But last night, I was up painting and ripping and sewing and wheee! I've even started on a mailart swap I was supposed to do AGES AGO (sorry, Randi!).

I ALSO have a short story started here. The notebook you use really DOES help! I found an adorable one on clearance at Target the other day, and it's got pages filled already.

OH! And I got GOOD video editing software. Working with iMovie was REALLY getting to me, as someone who learned video editing on an AVID system....oh, things that SHOULD have taken seconds took HOURS. The voice-synching on the Watercolor Crayons video took forever and I almost threw my computer in frustration!

Aww, the baby puppy's sleeping with my foot as a pillow. ;)

There are more pictures over on my flickr page. Sorry that they're smaller/not straight on. Still compiling pages for Anthaology vol. B, my personal 'zine full of journal pages, photos, and stories. Have you seen the first issue?

mish-mosh talky talk

Am I the only one who gets that eeeeeeck nails-on-chalkboard feeling when art journaling is compared to scrapbooking?

I can understand the connection when made by people who don't know about it. But saying they're alike is like putting "White Chicks" and "Citizen Kane" in the same category simply because they're both on film.

I don't know why it is. Just the cute layouts with the die-cuts and brads and papers and such.....it feels so flat. Yes, memories are preserved, but that's it. There's little soul. And of course, this doesn't apply to ALL scrapbook pages -- I've seen some AMAZING stuff out there that DOES speak. But on a whole....

I just read over on Journal Revolution the message from a scrapbooker -- go over and read it. I think that message clearly illustrates the differences between art journalers and scrapbookers. We use EVERYTHING, work from our souls, and aim for self-discovery. They work to preserve memories for many years to come. One is not better than the other, just DIFFERENT.

Half the stuff in my journals is going to yellow and break and such. But that's part of the awesomeness of the journal -- nothing is permanent. 'Tis the nature of life.

When I started art journaling, I had NO IDEA what I was doing. My father's a printer, and has been for over 30 years -- much of my knowledge of all that stuff comes from him. So when I wanted to glue things down flat, without the goopy white glue mess, I got rubber cement. It worked awesomely. Things stayed down. There was no mess. Go outside the edges? Rub it off! Things were flat and pretty and, yes, I do like the smell. I also like the smell of gas. HAHA. Toxic stuff come my way! *laughs*

Imagine my surprise when I read in one of the first books on mixed-media I got that rubber cement looses it's glue power AND yellows over time. I was like, "OMG, I can't use it anymore!" So I stopped. Got gel medium. And double-sided tape (mmmmmmmm I love it!).

Typing that out, maybe I SHOULD go get some more! I loved it! It works so well! Who cares if it's against the rules? HECK. I'm gonna go get some today and use it and if it falls apart in 10 years, oh well!

Are there any rules YOU could break today?

tiny green buds where before there were none

This is my Spring.

Last week, I got my Spirit Cards read. A little-known fact: I am 1/8th Siksika (Blackfoot), and find myself drawn to nature and the tales of Native Americans. It feels...right. Anyway, these Spirit Cards are Native American and were read by a friend who's part Native, too, and has been reading these cards for about twenty years. A lot of what she said brought images to mind, one of which was that, "This is your springtime...you're getting ready to bloom." One thing I've noticed since I began healing myself, other than my heath improving so much that people are really noticing, is that things are aligning for me in the universe. Since this journal is where I am beginning to see the tiny green shoots poking through dark soil, I felt part of my friend's words should be on the cover.

It's made from felt and fabric. I embroidered the words in some unbleached muslin; it took the longest! I'm not very good at embroidery...I'm totally self taught...so much so I "invented" my stitches. It still was a blast to made, though! And the eyelets in the corners... *giggles* I'm just tickled pink!

Left: Me, mid-embroidery.

Mad-Dash Journaling.

I haven't been journaling lately....who knows why? Sometimes, you just need to go with the flow and accept that NOT doing an activity is just as valuable as doing it. This might sound odd, but it's true. You see, when I'm NOT journaling, I'm taking photos, reading, walking in the woods, playing with the dogs. All these activities feed my soul and become part of me. We are ever-changing creatures, and every experience we have changes us -- I am not the same person I was 10 minutes ago, and in an hour, I'll be different than I am now. My break allowed me to soak in inspiration, open my mind to changes in who and what I am.

If you've been reading, you know I've been going through some sort of spiritual journey. It's opened the world up to me, allowing me to see things differently. All of this input has been rattling around in my head until yesterday, it just had to get out. 

I didn't do much, and went out only to grab some new paint markers, fabric, and felt. The rest of the day was spent with my nose in my journal. Doodling and drawing and making dots -- I kept working on the yellow page here well past the point I'd usually stop....More and more and more and MORE!!! I colored and added more color and kept going and lines and omg, can you see how I just was charged, just couldn't help myself? *laughs* After I finish this entry, I'm going to go back to work....on my pages!!! Sorry that I'm only showing a bit...but near 'zine time, I like to save my pages for that...that way, the newest stuff's in the 'zine and reflects the most-current me. ;)

One of the things I've noticed is that I'm doing two things:

A. Moving around a lot,

That means, I'll doodle somewhere, and then flip the page and doodle elsewhere. Or draw. Or write. Or glue something down. Or paint. Well, I haven't really painted much as I pre-painted a bunch of pages....which reminds me, I have to do that again so I've got more places to play! But yeah. Unlike life, my journal is not linear.

B. Working piece by piece.

My pages are coming together after several small sittings. The page on the right down there (sorry you can't see all of it...it's still in progress!) started with paint. Then the drawing in pencil. Then the writing. Then the coloring of the girl. And it's FAR from done. On the left, there was the background, then the bird, then the cut out in the middle, then waves. Swirls. And the words ALSO came in seperate sittings. I mean that I don't sit down and work start to finish in one sitting. I'm LIVING in between. I might sit and doodle, but then I'm making lunch or playing fetch or napping or writing. Even going to work! I've found things are more unpredictable and easier to push the envelope, so to speak, than working through it at once.

Kira Workshop.

I'll be "teaching" a workshop this June through my mailing list, JournalGirl. I'm so excited to be doing this, and might start sooner....I'm creating, lesson by lesson, a journal for you all that will hopefully be useful to you after the class is over. I've wanted to teach for awhile, now, and figure if I can't do it in person, I'll do it online! Sometimes, you've got to just go out there and DO it. And, if I want to teach workshops in person, I'll have something together already -- as SARK says, make it REAL, and the rest will follow.

And Finally....New Amy Butler & K&Co. Stuff!!

OMG! Look!!! There's a new collection for K&Co. by Amy Butler. I wish I could have bought it all. Not only is it ROCKING AWESOME, but it's eco-friendly; the packaging is recycled and can be recycled! This picture only shows you a bit of the 88 die-cut pieces in this collection. They're all awesome, beautiful, and I'm giddy just thinking of all the stuff I'll get to use. It was only $5 for this whole thing. There's also beautiful fabric tags, alphabets, brads.....awwwwww......Run, don't walk, to your local Michael's and check it out!!

it's not the destination....

I am on a journey.

It began a few months ago, when I realized my life needed to change and I was the only one who could change it. I then met Kathy, who opened my eyes to a new realm of possibility and introduced me to a wonderful woman-healer who's helped me emensly. In that time, I've found myself happier, able to work longer hours, and, most importantly, gotten off many of my medications.

Don't take this for miraculous recovery -- I still have a long way to go, but I'm excited to embark on the journey. I know I'll be tested, that these almost imediet improvements will taper off, but my faith is growing and I hope it's strong enough to "weather the storm."

A wonderful side-effect of all this inner work is my journaling. I've changed my approach and find myself focusing on different things. It comes easier, now, and many nights, you can find me curled in my favorite chair with my journal and my growing collection of Gelly Roll pens (Jo-Ann's had the Moonlight ones on sale for $0.77 each!!). I'm doodling a LOT more, working instinctively with color, drawing and collaging and writing. I don't go out of my way to journal....most of it happens when I'm half-asleep and at my least censored.

After making the Easy-Peasy journal last week, I wanted one of my own, so I rescued the covered from my "wrecked" sketchbook and made myself a new journal. A ton of pages have random splatters of paint on them....who wants to sit in a room and paint when you can be out in the world seeing?

Winter's FINALLY on it's way out! Chicago's been buried under snow and hit with a long, chilly winter....I cannot WAIT for spring......because me and my dogs can go out.

Yes, dogs!

Say hello to my newest addition, Drake!

But in sadder news, our family has lost a member. My mother, after 26 years of marriage, has left the casa. It was sudden, unexpected, and painful to see her go. But I only wish her the best. To say I'm not effected would be a lie, but I'm trying not to think about it -- to stay in the present.

I'll be spending the day working on the next issue of Page by Page. Speaking of that...

I'm creating a new, larger gallery section! I want it to be a visual feast! So, to do that, I need YOUR journal pages! Send in hi-res pictures and you'll be published. How cool is that?

i'm back!

Did ya miss me?

Much love to my angel Sharon, who made this possible! *G* I cannot thank you enough, girl! She single-handedly saved me from a computer-less existence.

Right before the power cord died, I was working on an entry about my most recent journal adventure. While it's been about 2 weeks since then, I thought I'd still share it with y'all.

You see, like many things, it started with an idea. On how to improve my journal.

While I loved my hard-bound landscape journal, I didn't like how wide it got when opened. Sure, this is fine on a desk, but when out in the world, like at work or in a doctor's waiting room, it gets a little...awkward. So my great idea was this: go to Staples and get it re-bound with wire. Easy, right? Cut off the spine, punch the holes, and voila! Finished.

Or so I thought.

First, they didn't know if it could be done. I'd talked to the manager a few days earlier who said it COULD. Plus, common sense and experience tells me so. Then, I was told that cutting through the bookcloth would dull the blade, so they wouldn't do it. Fine, I said. Give me an exacto knife and I'll cut the paper out myself.

It had to be the dullest exacto blade ever!

I tried my best, but it still "ripped" the cardboard and book cloth instead of cutting it.

And when they cut the paper, they left the glue and signatures intact! That totally defeats the purpose of the wire binding!

At this point, I was regretting my decision to do this. My journal was in pieces. People were waiting in line behind me. And I was being told the book was too thick! I had to make my journal even thinner!

Remember, they were working with an in-progress journal! My beautiful entries out there to be butchered. Oh, the poor babies, being handled that way!

So then, I was standing there with half my journal in my hands, the ripped spine, watching as they punched holes and holes to try to line things up. Oh, but it doesn't end there!! *wails*

I could see the guy struggling to thread the wire binding through. Bending and twisting and the paper in his hands and oh, the pages and aaaaaahhhhhh!

"Excuse me," I said. "I can do that myself!"

He stopped and gave it all to me. After I finished, here's the result:

Ohhhhh.....the edges! And the wire isn't circular, meaning you have to really man-handle each page and the covers to page through it! And it's all....BENT! I tried, I really, REALLY tried to deal with the beautiful imperfections, but....half the pages were punched ON THE EDGE, so they fell out.

*cries* I was so in love with that journal. Don't make my mistake! Buy it in the format you want, or DO IT YOURSELF!!

Here's the replacement (bought a week later...see, I tried!!!):

And thus endith that woe!! Heee!!

I have SO MUCH to tell you! I'm going to post every day because I'm just BURSTING with ideas and creativity! And new vids, too!!

<3 Kira!!!