{show them what you're worth}

At times, I forget how solitary art-creating can be.

Push aside interacting online or showing your work to others, or even being published --all you create comes from you, a stillness within, and comes out in your own secret alphabet on paper or canvas or fabric. You are the only one who sees all you’ve created, can see the struggle hidden beneath the layers of a painting or the pain in the swirled doodles running off the edge of a journal page. No one else pages through your journals the way you do, reading the words seen and unseen.

Simply put, the outside world has no idea what you go through to create.

A few days ago, I was feeling the pressure of getting a few projects finished. I’ve improved a bit when it comes to deadlines, finishing bits up at least a day or two before they’re due, but this is the result of putting incredible pressure on myself to finish, and finish early so you’re sending in quality -- not rushed -- work. I’d been sick for about a week, starting off with a horrible flare-up of my fibromyalgia (to the point I couldn’t get out of my bed without crying from the pain) and ending with a stomach bug that kept me up for 36 hours straight. All in all, I could only think of all the things I should be doing, while trying to remind myself to forget that incorrigible word.

Recovery takes longer when you have fibromyalgia. What takes you a day takes me a few, and on that day at the beginning of the week, I was really feeling everything fall on my shoulders.

And so, when talking to my mother, I said:

“I don’t understand why you don’t see what I’m doing as work.”

A bit of back-story: I work my ass off. There’s a lot more to living as an artist full-time than just making paintings and having no set work schedule. There’s administrative things. Posts and social media to keep up on. Images to snap and crop and fix up. Clients to speak to. Money and accounts to balance. Emails to answer (you’ll be happy to know I’ve instituted an ‘answer when you read it’ policy when it comes to comments and notes). Packages to mail.

And this all happens in a small area at the back of my apartment, away from others. Remember how I said art-making is solitary?

She responded with something that really got me thinking:

“That’s because we never see any of the money.”

I know we don’t do this for the money, that art is a way for us to express ourselves, deal with the difficulties of our lives, even works as a meditative state for many of us. But that’s inside our world. Outside, the world still measures worth by how profitable it is, even if that statements a bit backwards and capitalist.

But her statement got me thinking about a few things. First, the solitary nature of art-creating. How many of you share all you create with your families? Do they understand when you’ve been re-tweeted or linked to by someone well-known, or that you’ve won a workshop or print from someone they’ve never heard of? How many of us have taken the time to really explain what our world consists of -- and what is valuable to us, as artists?

We should invite our families into our studios and show them what we’re doing. Explain to them how important this is to you -- let them see the joy it brings. Bring them into the fold when it comes to swaps or projects you’re working on, and try to impart the significance of what you’re doing. Let them share the victories and comfort you when things don’t go so well.

For example, whenever I’m working on a painting or piece for a project, I show it to my family and close friends and ask for their honest opinions of what I’m creating. It doesn’t matter that, maybe, my style isn’t their favorite kind of art, or if they even like art. What matters is they get to see something as I work on it, the steps in-between, and offer constructive criticism that might actually help me improve my art.

Most of my funds come through Paypal, and if you’re not reading my emails, you won’t see any activity. When I do get paid for articles or interviews, I jump up and down and show it off -- let my family and friends see the little steps of success I’ve made, and that helps them to appreciate what I work on. But what about the other stuff? Maybe I should take them out to dinner, or offer to pay for movie tickets once and awhile. I don’t make a huge amount of money with what I do, but I think it is important to show others my world in terms they can understand.

The second part was actually a realization prompted by a combination of my mother’s comment and Dawn Sokol’s treasured friendship. It is the value of your work.

I love my (mostly) weekly coffee dates with Dawn. We talk about what we’re working on, what we’ve seen, share our art and lives. She gets things in a way my family doesn’t (which is why what I’ve written above is so important).

She also is a great voice of reason and reality.

She has said, “Kira, I think you’re undervaluing yourself.”

How many of us do this? How many of us look at the work we’re creating and compare it to others’ and figure it isn’t worth much? I think there’s a difference between being humble and having a low self-esteem, and it’s so hard to find that balance in the art world.

When I priced my paintings for the Charity Sale to help Japan (which is still running, if you’re looking for a way to donate to the Red Cross & get a painting to boot!), I actually had to message my friend Nolwenn and said, “Can you go look at the prices I’ve picked and make sure I’m not undervaluing myself?”

Sometimes we need others to show us how much we’re worth. I may think listing a painting for $105 is silly, but I sold that painting within 24 hours of putting up the charity sale. We need others to be there to knock us on the head when we’re not at our best, to be an outside source looking at our creations. All I can see are flaws. All others can see is perfection.

By the way, when I told my mother I sold that painting, she went, “You could have gotten $105 for that?”

I think that was a big message to her as to how far I’ve come.

So show your family and friends what you’re really worth. Take the time to share your world and art and thoughts. Let your kids create alongside you. Turn off the TV for a half-hour to babble on about your latest blog post or amazing email.

By sharing your world, it’ll grow and blossom in ways you never imagined.

{a little wish can certainly come true!}

\

There are six magazines on a special shelf in my bookcase.

There isn’t anything special about them -- they aren’t collector’s editions or in perfect shape or boast the signature of someone famous -- but they’ve been carted across the country, kept in various shelves or boxes, and are always clutched, when taken from the shelf, close to my chest.

These are the six, including the one I received in the mail today, that I have been published in.

Allow me a moment to let that sentence sink in.

That I have been published in.

As far back as 2007, I wanted to share what I was discovering with the world, to spread all those wonderful things I was doing in hopes of inspiring others. I’ve been pretty fearless with my artistic explorations -- this may be the result of never have learning the rules past elementary school art classes. The only teacher I had was myself -- this is back in 2005, before all the YouTube videos and amazing books we have now. There wasn’t much out there, and I wanted to change that.

I published a few issues of a ‘zine called Page by Page. It was then that I had this particular dream:

You see, the tag-line for the Melange section in Somerset Studio is ‘A lively romp through journals, zines, and art adventures. And when I held issues of my self-published little magazine, I thought,

I’d love to be on the pages of this!

And since then, I’ve had an artist’s profile in Art Journaling, journal bags, essays, paintings, journal pages -- all these amazing, wonderful opportunities -- including a lovely interview -- me, interviewed! -- in the current issue of Artful Blogging with my amazing, talented friend Roben-Marie (who I met when I interviewed her for the last issue of my little ‘zine!).

When I opened my mailbox and saw my contributor’s copy of Somerset Studio, with my article in the Melange section, my heart just soared. Sometimes, the route to your dreams takes the most serpentine path, and even after all I’ve accomplished -- all that is on my plate, all the projects and wonderful things that are happening around me this year, right now! -- I remember me, all those years ago, wishing to see my artwork on these pages. And not only that, but my work was chosen to be an artist’s paper. Imagine my glee!

So let me give you a little advice:

Do it.

I was afraid. I had Dawn and Roben-Marie tag-teaming me a year and a half ago to send my journals in to Art Journaling. They told me to just do it -- send them in and see what happens. What did I have to lose? And so, with my eyes closed and fingers crossed, I packed my journals into a box and sent them off.

At the beginning of the year, I submitted work to a new editor. I was scared! And almost didn’t do it. But then I remembered I had nothing to lose. I wouldn’t gain anything unless I tried. How do we grow unless we take that next step? I don’t mean just for getting published -- and let me tell you, it doesn’t magically make you feel validated or silence your inner critic forever or get you thousands of followers -- I mean for ANYTHING on this little art ride we’re all on.

So stop thinking about doing it and do it. I will tell you: I have worked with many editors and they are all sweet, amazing, passionate people who want to help you get your art out into the world. You have NOTHING to be embarrassed about. Don’t think your art isn’t good enough or that you’ll be laughed at -- these women are such kind spirits, they’ll hold your hand and help you through.

And then, one day, you’ll open your favorite magazine and your little wish will be true...in full color.

{sunday in the studio}

I spent the day giving my art journal some much-needed attention. 

This is the girl I sketched last week, filled in with paint, glittery ink, and paper. 

Pulled out some paper to collage, which I haven't done in even longer!

Also? Applying gesso with a palette knife? Fantastic!

This week's painting, in-progress. 

Naturally, I had to knife some gesso in my journal as well!

And here's a beautiful reason to not clean off your stencils after each use. ;)

{setting sail on my little boat}

On Tuesday, Tina and I headed to the other side of Phoenix for a mixed-media get together started by the amazing Dina. Despite getting a bit turned around on our way there, Tina and I made it to the little scrapbooking/mixed-media supply shop hosting the group.

And what fun was to be had!

 

Photo by Tina. Aren't you glad you're not the only one that takes over the table when working in your journal?

Three tables, women with paint, brownies on the counter, laughter in the air. We all pulled out our journals -- a myriad of kinds, some made the weekend before in Kelly Kilmer’s classes, others started during a class of Dina’s, full of paint or paper or tape -- introduced ourselves, and got to play.

We shared supplies, showed others new things they could try, got ink all over our hands. I finally found a place that could refill my Copic markers. There were baskets of colored waxed linen thread, paints and papers and inks and stamps. Racks of beautiful large sheets of paper along a wall.

 

Pic by Tina. I'm in purple. I really want one of those little lab-coat thingies...it would have saved mine and Tina's shirts...

But the fun was to be had simply laughing, creating, and chatting with other women who have the same loves. Who read the same magazines and blogs, who want to expand their artistic abilities through experimentation and community. We all had different styles and experience levels, and yet in that room, we were all the same. Just women having fun creating art.

my page from that night. i went a little overboard with the glimmer.

I took the time to chat about my most recent issues and what I should do. I think most of the video workshop I’ve written came from conversations a few months ago, and I went forward off my own passion -- something I don’t regret. But as I sat through the first week of it being announced, I found a black cloud gathering above my head. I wasn’t having fun. After the stress of the website and blog (and the time loss from a massive migraine), I needed a release, and wasn’t finding it.

It took a lot of advice, letters from friends and strangers, and some soul searching to really figure out where I am and where I want to be. I’ve had the amazing luck of now working with some women to design banners and blogs for them (and I have never felt so valued and capable before!), but have missed the play. I think the other night reminded me of that.

So I’m putting the video workshop on the back burner. It’ll be self-paced and available later this spring, but for now, I’m following my joy and developing and writing the art journaling workshop I’ve had in mind since October. I’m even pitching it to be taught here in town. I’m painting weekly and making journals just for fun (and throwing them on Etsy as they roll out of the Closet Studio). There are tons of projects and opportunities going on here behind the scenes.

In planning on offering my little class from the first round of 21 Secrets (for $10!), I discovered a way to create a social network like a Ning site here on my own server, and have bold ideas on where such a place could go. Clubs and classes and secret things! I need to get back to my roots, to who I am and the art I love to create.

And I feel less fear twisting my stomach in writing this than the month I spent working on the video workshop.

So bear with me as things continue to morph and grow and expand and take shape. I’ve set sail on my little boat, but this time, I’ve got a sat-phone and some amazing friends on speed dial.

{the magic of community}

A few weeks ago, Nolwenn and I were chatting on MSN, talking about our paintings and how we’d like to do more. This was just about the time Points of Two was ending, and I’d be without a weekly challenge in my life for the first time in a year.

Did you know it takes about 20 days to form a habit? If you can stick with it for that long, it’ll stick with you. Imagine an entire year of creating journal pages...of having some sort of challenge and accountability to get some art done! Some weeks, doing my page for Points of Two was the only art or journaling I did that entire week, and was thankful for the reminder to be calm, create, and center.

As our conversation continued, I thought, “Why not have a weekly painting challenge for us?”

Nolwenn jumped on the idea.

And then I posted to the Facebook group and had some lovelies ask if they, too, could get in on the action.

The group isn’t structured or rigid. In fact, I didn’t finish a painting last week. But here’s the magic part: I worked on one. It’s sitting next to my desk, almost finished, and I can’t wait to get back to it and post my progress to our little group.

We’ve only been together for 2 weeks, but already, there are some amazing things happening. People are pulling out old, unfinished work and breathing in new life. Others are going out on a limb and declaring themselves artists through the little paintings they do. There are no rules, no consequences if you don’t finish. But the environment — of posting photos and getting real, honest feedback — is helping us all grow, become more confident, and really trying new things.

So I wanted to post some photos of finished paintings we’ve done. And if you want to join, let me know — it’s a Facebook group, so I have to have you friended on my personal account, or really, any of the members’ personal accounts, to add you. But it’s so much fun!

by Melissa Peacock

by Stephanie Gates

by Tia Wahl

by Beth Lunny

by Nolwenn

They say in order to make art, you have to make a lot of it. So we're going for 52 in a year. Crazy? Maybe. But hey -- at least we're getting past our fears, declaring ourselves, and doing it.

What could you get done, if you really put your mind to it?

{a letter to a darling}

I was thinking last night about the Mystery Mentor project and what my last message would be to my mentee. Through a twist of fate, my mentor, an angel mentor who came into the game halfway through January, lives in the next town over, and has even invited me to one of her workshops this week!

But what to say to the mentee? What would see her with Believing Eyes and help her through the tough times?

And then realized I want to write this letter to all of you — to the Me of two years ago, to the girls I get emails from, to those just starting. To old hats and youngsters alike.

To the younger sister I’ll never have by blood, but may by spirit.

Dear Darling,

It is going to happen.

I know it is hard. I know, right now, that your dreams still feel so far away, stars in distant galaxies, swirling out of reach. You’re bound to the Earth beneath your feet and watch, dazed, as others achieve what you want so badly, your heart aches in your chest.

And because they are closer to your star, you are going to compare yourself to them. This is inevitable, and will happen your entire life. Never mind that they’ve been working on things for years, or have more experience, or are older — in your mind, nothing will matter but the fact that they are doing what you wish you were.

You’ll work on your art and compare it to others, wondering why they get more comments or views or tweets than you. You’ll post to your blog and watch your inbox and wonder what you did “wrong.” Where are they? Why hasn’t the world noticed you?

When do you get your wings?

They say hindsight is 20/20, but that’s only if you turn around and look behind you. Sometimes, we become so focused on the distant star, we don’t notice we’ve begun to fly from the ground and float into the blackness. And, oh, darling, it is dark! As you begin to navigate far from your comfort zone, you won’t know where to turn. You’ll be scared, frightened of taking a wrong turn, one that takes you farther from your dream.

But there is no such thing as a wrong turn. What we believe is best for us may not be what is truly the best for us. There is a divine order to things, a power greater than you and me and every being on this planet, and She will not lead you astray.

When the fear is building in you — your heart pumping faster, palms slick with sweat, stomach tied in impossible knots — be still. Remember who you are and where you came from, the experiences in your life that shaped you, the talents only you possess. Listen to the wind or a song on a random playlist or the random doodles in your sketchbook.

Life is scary. But you have a fire burning in you, a passion that cannot be put out by anyone but yourself. You will rise and fall and skin your knees, and that is The Moment that decides everything — will you get up? Or will the count hit 10 and the lights go out but for that tiny, far-off spec of a dream?

Take it from me — it will happen. And when it does, you’ll look back and wonder how you ever thought something else was your destiny in life. Your star will change as you do, will shine brighter as you grow, will warm you on the coldest, saddest days.

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a writer. I knew in my heart I’d grow up to write amazing short stories and novels. I wrote — and continue to write — in my spare time, obsessively typing while watching prime-time TV (learning how to type faster and spell as I did so!). I was so focused on that, I never considered art. Never thought I’d draw or paint or doodle. I was going to write. And my eyes were so glued to that star, it was only a few years later, when I was writing articles for magazines, that I realized I’d made it — only my star had changed for the better.

Yes, some people will seemingly come out of nowhere and gain popularity, and others will hold it for years to come, but that is their path, not yours. Have Faith, darling, because it’s going to be dark for a long time.

But that only means when you reach that first star — and see all the others lined up behind it, obscured from view by your myopic mind — the blazing joy will only be that much brighter.

Now get out that paintbrush and go to work.

With all my love,

Samantha Kira

-----

The image above is of my painting Everygirl, who is all of us, any color or race or age -- we are all creative beings. You can grab an 8"x8" print of her at my Etsy shop.

{a little peek & taking inspiration and creating something new}

I am just finishing up a project and wanted to be able to share at least a peek of it before sending it off!

I’ve been inspired by a whole host of artists lately, and incorporated their techniques or basic ideas into this journal page. I wanted to show you how you can learn from someone else but make it all uniquely your own.

Ruth Rae creates the most amazing fiber artwork, an I just adore her work. There are a few pieces of hers in Inner Excavation by Liz Lamoreux, and I just had to try some stuff out! Above are pieces of muslin left over from my messenger bag alteration that I stamped on with Staz On ink. I would have never thought of this unless I’d seen her artwork with stamped images on it!

I’ve been totally inspired by Traci’s Art Journaling Daily posts, expecially this one, where we get to see her write! It got me pulling out my own dip-pen and ink, and I just spilled onto the page all that was on my mind.

Roben-Marie’s gotten me into the Liquitex Ink! And several books talk about painting with the dauber in the ink bottle. So I colored things in and was amazed at how cool the white bled into the purple.

The flower is a die-cut shape from sticky-back canvas. I seriously love that stuff and use it all the time to embellish my artwork!

DJ’s amazing journals gave me the idea to use the fabric to hinge the pages (her word, and isn’t it just the perfect one?). So here’s what a spread looks like!

At the top is the positive of a stencil I was using. Dina showed me her way of using both the positive and negative of stencils when I played in her studio! You get double milage out of one application, and can get a new page started while working on another.

Inspiration can come from anywhere! What makes amazing art is taking that you’ve learned and putting it through YOU as if you’re a processor. Inspiration comes in and BONDS with who YOU are and is instantly transformed. By putting it all together, you begin to experiment and create something that not only pays homage to the artists and images that first fired you up, but synthesize a UNIQUE creation.

Don’t be afraid to use a technique you’ve learned or seen. Just make sure, when you use it, it becomes YOUR VERSION. That is why journals are amazing - they are safe places where you EXPERIMENT and PLAY and ultimately discover yourself!

From comments I’ve gotten in the past, I can safely say that my artwork doesn’t directly copy or rip off other artists. I used to worry about that in the past SO MUCH! But now I know I can take it in, play around, and create something wonderful.

I could really use the kindness and help of strangers today, as I finish up preparations for a major reveal and online workshop. If you like this content or any of my videos, please donate a little bit via the sidebar!

{a brave, foolish, amazing thing & a giveaway!}

As soon as Monday rolled around, and my self-declared vacation was over, I launched right into 2011 like a rocket heading for the stars. Just after Christmas, I was wandering Target and found a cute planner designed by Egg Press for Blue Sky, and just knew I had to have it. I’ve always loved the layout of Blue Sky planners (monthly tabs with the weeks right after each month!) and the colors used for the planner, as well as the paintbrush-drawn look of the cover and interior accents, just called to me.

There is also a healthy amount of teal, which is my favorite color!

When I sat down at my desk on Monday morning, I went through all the projects I have on my plate and pared everything down to urgency. What needs to be done now, and what can wait until next week? Which items are time-sensitive? Or which will help preserve my sanity by getting me off the computer?

I then broke the major projects down into smaller, bite-sized pieces and jumbled them up. For example, this was my Monday:

• Type up and send out article outline to CPS (yes! I did this! And I’m staying positive about what this even though I have a healthy dose of fear!)
• Work on printer issue
• Set eyelets in binder journal pages
• Free bookboard (it’s all recycled - I freed it from countless salvaged 3-ring binder covers)
• Write video workshop chapter 3

I like to vary what I’ll be doing in a day in order to keep my attention bouncing around - and thus, my mind making connections through unconnected work - and keeps things manageable. While I have, in the past, binged on finishing one project in one day, I find this varied approach not only keeps me up and moving around, but allows for a larger degree of flexibility. Last night, after working for about four hours, I found myself really, really tired, so I laid down for a nap. I call these my Spoonie Breaks, and can definitely tell when I skip one because all my aches get worse! But when I woke up, I didn’t feel any better - in fact, my stomach was upset! So I decided to relax and take it easy. Of course, this meant I missed out on much of yesterday’s to-do list, but knew it would be okay since I could simply move things around and throw a few on Friday.

I purposely leave Fridays open, not because I’m taking the day off, but because, even if I’m trying my best and am feeling good, I often take off for a movie or walk or bike ride to clear my head, and that means little bits get dropped. So Fridays are my pick-up days, when I grab all those loose ends and tie them together.

Anyway, I slept in. Like, really slept in. Which moves everything around on me and has me scrambling to get things done today so tomorrow isn’t so jam packed with things to do!

The nice thing is, every night, when I go to sleep, I do so with a smile on my face. I’ve accomplished something that day, gotten a bit done. There’s nothing more satisfying than crossing off everything on your to-do list - that simple motion, the line through letters, it can be such a high! I fade off to dream land exhausted but happy, knowing I’ve made a few more baby steps towards my dreams and goals for this year.

I’m working behind the scenes to put up some items I’ve wanted to make and share for a long time. And while I’m scared things won’t sell or that I’m not good enough an artist to sell prints of my work, I’m going to do it anyway because I’m finding the things that seem to flow, that put themselves together with little effort, are the things I am supposed to be doing.

I wrote all that above earlier today, before I got started printing samples and taking photos. While I was standing over my art table cutting prints down, I began to shake. That voice in my head began to speak:

"Think of all the ink you're using! It's expensive! Is it worth it?" 

Yes. I said back. I think it is. 

"You should just stop. Who are you to sell prints of your artwork?" 

But I knew this fear, this shaking, meant I was on the edge of something wonderful. So I worked through it. Kept staging photographs and fixing things up and listing items. Even after my back started aching and I'd been at it for hours, I pressed on through the fear. 

All the artwork I've put up in my Etsy shop is special to me. They are pieces that showcase my metamorphosis, my rebirth in the desert and the refilling of my soul. I am a different woman today than I was before, earlier this year, and I know I'm only beginning to scratch the surface of what I'm capable of. 

To celebrate this newness, this braveness I feel, I am hosting a give-away. What do you win? Three prints of your choosing from yours truly, to help share the journey. 

To enter, simply comment here and answer the following:

What brave, foolish, amazing thing did you do today?

It can be small. Huge. A baby step or a sentence scrawled in your journal. Whatever you feel was the most difficult, liberating thing you've done. 

This is open until Saturday at 12pm MST. Good luck!

(And don't forget to check out the details over at Etsy!)