{playing with ATCs...}

A few weeks ago, I noticed they sell ATC-sized papers in little packets for $1.99. Okay, I didn't just notice them a few weeks ago, but it was then that I was tempted to buy some and try this tiny format out. I had done some ATCs years and years ago (seen here and here), and while I enjoyed making them, I was still finding my collaging-self.

But, being adventurous, I cut down some blanks from left-over poster board and began playing. And I have to say, it's been a lot of fun. Here's some in-progress shots and the completed cards. Anyone up for trades? I've wanted to write letters, by hand, to unseen pen-pals, and figure this would be a fun way to do so!

PS. About tomorrow's live vlog -- please watch my Twitter stream for updates. I have to take my laptop apart to fix a problem, so am not sure it's 100% going to happen. YAY technology! [/sarcasm]

{metamorphosis}

This is the most freeing thing I've ever done artistically.

I was wandering around the internet this weekend and became inspired by larger pieces -- and realized I'd never really DONE a larger piece. My work has been small, as I'm most comfortable working in journals. I know where things go. I know placement. I know drawings. And while I've slowly gone bigger and bigger, there's been one canvas that's remained relatively untouched in my studio.

The really big one.

My younger brother bought it for me for my birthday three years ago. For my first year in the studio, whenever I had leftover paint from journaling, I'd spread it on this giant canvas so as to not waste anything. And then it went behind a table and wasn't seen again.

But I've always wanted to work on the wall. To spread paint and let it drip onto the floor. To create large, sweeping motions.

So I did. I hung this on the wall and have been working on it every day. I know what I'm saying with it -- I've been seriously dealing with faith and spirituality, in finding the strength to continue on this path despite all the setbacks or tiny bank account. To follow my heart instead of what society says I should do. I'm pouring all this out onto this giant canvas, and the drawing in the middle, of the girl, is seriously one of the best I've ever done.

I've been afraid of "ruining" it. But then I said hell with it -- I can always get another canvas! (except not this month, as I'm not buying ANY new supplies all April. maybe i'll put a piece of poster board on the wall when i'm finished and moving on to my next big painting!)

Working on this has been the most freeing, amazing, best artistic experience. I laugh and giggle and just GO. I just....there have been so many things happening in my life lately, more spiritually and in my soul, that I am overwhelmed and humbled and can't get things out fast enough!

{journal 14 bringing in a new lesson & new ideas}

The untold story about last week's Points of Two is this: I really didn't iike the page I made.

When I work on a page, I concentrate on the intention or emotion I'd like to express in the page, hoping the mix of paper and paint is infused in the final product. You may not see it all, but I do when I look at it, days, weeks, months later. To me, journal pages have a bit of my soul in them, a shared piece through emotional expression.

We lend ourselves to our art whenever we step up to the page or canvas. The Divine has a hand in what we put out, but it only works when we lend ourselves, when we surrender everything and let out what makes us unique and authentic.

Anyway, the page felt....empty. Far from what I originally wanted to put down. Yes, the process was relaxing, amazing, and meditative, and I won't deny that, but when I sat back and looked at what I'd created, the words felt empty. Not the page, but it felt mismatched, like I'd imposed the wrong words over something I'd seen.

I realized, as I sat back and reflected on my page, that it was too busy. I'd gone from a larger, chunkier patchwork to one with bits and pieces and finer details that, while the process was enjoyable, it wasn't as filled with spirit as I'm used to. I realized I needed to figure out a way to take this patchwork I'd been experimenting with without letting it take over my work.

In short, I'm at another turning point in my work.

This is a frightening place to be. My mind is filled with uncertainty. What will I be creating next? Will it be an enjoyable experience? Will I be creating authentically and with soul? Or will my work feel empty? What about all the other processes I love playing with? How can I pull this all together?

But the only way to get through this is to continue creating and being mindful while playing.

For this new beginning and experimentation, I needed to shed the old and move on. So here's my new journal, with a lovely paper I found at Paper Source and fell in love with it at first sight. It's got all my favorite colors in it, and makes me happy when I pull it out of my purse.

Cheryle asked me to explain how I sketch out ideas. This was the first thing I did when I opened my new journal.

I was asked last week to conceive a class with Maya Road's new canvas banner book. I immediately thought of making a hanging banner, one celebrating spring or another one to six letter word. Usually, I'll take the product home and just start working on it, hoping a class-worthy idea comes from my play. But I've notice planning a class that way only makes it harder for me later one when I have to teach. No, I knew I needed to start planning things out in order to make me a better teacher.

So, when I couldn't sleep the other night, I pulled my brand new journal out and started drawing out my ideas.

I like to daydream my ideas, construct art pieces in my head. But as I learned with the canvas flowers, this doesn't always work out properly.

I thnk on paper. Ask questions. Try to figure things out. Stare into space for awhile to think. Meditate. Things come as they will and then, I get an AHA! moment and it all clicks into place. Now, I know exactly what I'll teach and the steps we'll all take.

 I let loose on this journal page, painting with intent, letting out my pain and frustration with the red paint and a spray bottle. The background speaks more to me than anything, but I know I need to get back to writing in my journal. Sure, little bits here and there are fine, and quotes, but I haven't really WRITTEN about my day or what I'm doing, and I really love that part of journaling. Sometimes, we focus so much on the art, we forget about the words. A journal should be a combination of both.

My journal is helping me figure things out. Find my deep inside. Getting back to what I love and need. Yes, need! That is important! When working, the Divine may lead us in another direction, which is what They did when I was doing my last Points of Two page....showing me where I was going, and where I needed to be.

 And here are the next two pages I"m working on. I've already started taking notes for my next Etsy shop update (but they're secret, so they're a surprise!) and doodling and writing. I need to get thoughts down, and this is where they shall go.

I love working on pallet paper instead of having an actual pallet, just so I can take the interesting and fun-looking slices and put them in my journal for a spot of color. They are awesome for collaging, and I love the feeling of really recycling and getting everything in my journal.

Remember to listen to the Divine, let them help you along the way. I'm off to work on more screenprinted labels, some stationary, and a trip to the post office. All while doing laundry and starting on my next class project!

See you all tomorrow, at 4pm central, for the weekly live vlog!

{Journal Thursday: new is defiantly in here in the studio}

 

the center part of the canvas bit I was working on during Tuesday's vlog.

Yes, tis late, but it is also still Thursday, at least from where I'm sitting, which means I'm still on-time.

Does that make sense? My brain's a bit muddled -- I've been working on images and Yudu stuff since I woke up, and I'm a bit tired and fuzzy on...things.

Thank you ALL for your birthday wishes, whether through a comment here, on the Facebook page, or Twitter -- I got them ALL and they made me feel all warm and fuzzy and special and shiny. You all are truly a community of loving people!

Sometime last week, when I was sitting at my table, something amazing happened:

My style took a large change.

Which was surprising and pleasing to me, as I'd gotten a bit bored and needed something new to pop up. I don't exactly know WHAT changed, rather, I can tell you small bits, the changes in technique I've noticed, but as to what exactly, well, I have no idea. Or why. Those are two of those W words that I can't answer.

And, honestly, don't want to answer. That'd be delving too far into something I'd rather remain intuitive and mysterious. Like if I do get the answers to those questions, it'd ruin the fun. Yes, I'd like to know, but I want to discover them by continuing on down the vein and seeing what pops up.

I can tell you what I do like. I like the layering of paper. I like the little bits and pieces that have made their way into the page. I like the layering. I like working with paint through the entire process, and not just at certain points. I like adding drawn imagery. I like the dreamy white.

The way I usually create journal pages is this:

Layer of color.
Layer of collage.
Second layer of color, usually spread with my hands.
Second layer of collage.
Bits & words.

But now, paint has become just as important as the paper I'm putting down, and I'm having tons of fun mixing all sorts of colors to use just as I would a scrap of paper. There's a bit more order, I think, but more fun as I try new things. I'm in-love with die-cuts, as you can see, and they're getting their fair share of page-time (like face-time, yet this is fame for paper. they love it.).

I'm just giddy with excitement as I make new things! There are so many ideas bubbling up in my head, I hardly have time for it all. Like now. I have a journal page to make, but there's cake waiting downstairs. Also, the Yudu screen beeped while I was writing this, so I know the screen's ready for me to use. I want to play with that, too!

And yet, there's only a few hours until bed time. Because someone has a class sample to make and an entire store to make it in. Which is exciting, too! So much to make, so little time. But only because I'm constantly changing, evolving, and going with the flow.

But I did scrap my to-do list on Tuesday, which may be why I'm running so late...

{for the love of die-cuts & other cool papercrafting things}

Last Friday, I got to attend a late night Scrap & Crop at the shop were I'm teaching. I've never done this before, mostly because scrapbooking used to make my skin crawl, with all those pre-cut items and packed sets and planning. I love being random, being messy, so planning things out, trying to get things just right usually doesn't jive.

I had an interesting conversation with Jill, my bridge to the scrapbooking world. While going through the first class I'll be teaching, she found it difficult to just let go and put things down without thinking it through. And I find it hard to think out every little piece I'm going to use, move it around until it's right. I think there's something for both of us to learn, there, from each other, and lately, I can see a bit of this papercrafting sensibility bleeding into my own work.

So I'm at this late night crop, doing a demonstration of my upcoming class, and I've decided to go around the room and show off what I've made – a Valentine's Day paper because I couldn't find one I liked and kinda took it as a challenge. I've never done something quite like this before, and was pretty damn proud of what I made, so off I went.

my awesome v-day paper. or pretty pink one with hearts.

 [download the full-size PNG to print and play with!]

This was all really intimidating because I was an outsider who didn't know anyone, and I was walking around with my art in my hands hoping they'd like it. Really. On the internet, I can't see you – so it's not as hard to put my art and such out there for you to look at. But in person? Yeah. You can totally see their faces and they can ignore you or be like, “Oh, I don't like that.” (And I had one person say that and I was all mature and smiled).

Anyway, I'm wandering, of course, nervous and all that – I had a table with my work up on it and was on display, which still gets me, even though I've done it a few times before. And I find the nice big wall displaying all the die-cut shapes they have. And it's a long wall. It caught my attention a few days before because they've got tabs and scallops and all I could think was how awesome it would be to put some papers like that in my next journal.

And I've grabbed some new papers because there is nothing more awesome than to be working on a page and have an entire store at your disposal for that moment when you can't quite find what you need in your own paper stash. Really. This is horribly dangerous because you end up running around and grabbing all sorts of things and go home with more papers than you started out with.

So I have these papers. And I pick out a few shapes from the wall. And I put it all together and POP – there are my shapes cut out, just for me!

OH MY. Instead of searching for labels or journaling bits or shapes, I could make my own.

Of course, I used them as stencils, too, shapes to work around. I've been loving my regular white acrylic paint, the stuff that comes out of a tube – it's so smooth and creamy and blends awesomely. It's the only hard-body or whatever acrylic I have in my collection, and I've been using the papers I die-cut as stenciled to work around.

totally fun, right? see use of past journal page as scrap. oh, yes, i was making collage papers last night.

It's interesting how, even though I've been using scrapping supplies for years, I am now incorporating the basic ideas of paper crafting into my work. Something I didn't like is now opening up a new way of thinking.

And I think that's important. I felt stagnant, like I was just doing the same thing over and over again, and needed something new. Maybe not inspiration, but an unlocking of my brain.

I think we get put in a corner when we think of ourselves as art journalers or mixed-media artists, working with materials and such others have discovered. It's like when royalty wanted to keep the blood pure, they only married within their families. Gross, yes, I know, but I can't think of a better analogy than that to explain what I'm thinking.

Even at the shop I'm teaching at – the jewelry section has their own classes and such, and the scrapbooking section has their own, and no one crosses between the two because they're each entrenched in their own methods and materials. Except there's so much to learn. Even if it's not your “thing,” I think you need to open yourself up to what's out there because, as creative beings, we can boil it down to technique and intention and port it over to our own stuff.

see? ribbon and a little shape and another used as a stencil in the top corner.

So, now, when I'm working, I'm like, “Oh, what if I used this shape?” and inside, there's a part that says, “You're doing art and it needs to be messy and imperfect and better.”

And another part says, “STFU, you elitist bitch, we need to grow and you're acting like a priss.”

I am nice to myself, I swear. Kind. But being direct works sometimes. I like being direct and honest. It's just the way I am.

Anyway, don't listen to those voices. I play music because they can't shout louder than iTunes blasting from the speakers. Really. They can't. Oh, they try, but I totally ignore them and sing along and just go with the flow.

That seems like the answer to a lot of things. Go with the flow & have faith.

Oh. And tell people to STFU. You're working and they all need to just let you be.

{spur of the moment}

Yesterday, I got really, REALLY pumped up to do art, and was bouncing around the studio with a paintbrush in my hand. I then spied a brown paper bag I'd gotten from a store when getting scrapbooking paper, and thought, "Hey, that'd be fun to paint on!"

The bag's something like 22" by 14" or something....MUCH bigger than anything I've painted on before....well, FINISHED (there is a background and inked canvas sitting next to me!). Because it absorbs ink and water so well, I had to dip my brush in the ink and just slather it on....really, it only would spread maybe three inches before it ran out! So I drew and played and warmed up my art muscles.

Making a mess is SO MUCH FUN! I even dumped the extra ink out on the side of the canvas, and spread leftover white paint on places. Make a mess! It was amazing.

I then went on to do two journal page backgounds, one of which I'll share with you tomorrow. Or I should wait, because I haven't finished the posts and pages from journal #10, and I kind of want to finish up that series because I'm going to publish a 'zine of the journal!

Yes! The entire journal! I really love it and want to make a 'zine. Even if no one buys it....I want to play and publish it because it's fun and something I can give to friends interested in making a visual journal. "Here's mine. Take a look." How cool would that be?

Try doing something in the moment today. Just grab a large piece of paper, a page in your journal, a grocery bag....go crazy on it! Do whatever comes to you...it's just a "throw away" ... weren't you going to get rid of it anyway? Why not play on it for a bit before you do? I'm seeing that warming up before journaling or painting really helps build creative energy.

Thanks for all your comments and emails. I'm feeling much better -- and different than I did before. I feel more secure in my faith in the Creative Divine, and am going for the stars.

Just think -- I was once a beginning journaler, a beginning painter. We all start somewhere. Keep with it and you can achieve anything you dream of.

{soldering surprises}

Oh, I've been a tease! I keep talking about my soldering projects, and then never share pictures of any of them.

When I started soldering, it was for me. I find it relaxing and exciting, and usually have a new pendant to wear to work every day. And, being a Creative Girl, I'd show off the newest ones to the co-workers who'd care. But now it's become a Thing. I have a few regulars who ask to see my pendants, and even have a co-worker who wants me to make a set for her and her daughters!

Just proof that creative energy, when it comes from a place of love, can be very powerful!

I've had people telling me I should sell them, create more, even given me ideas! My mindset, however, has been that I'll make as many as I want for me and sell some only after I've made a bunch. My technique isn't perfect (though I'm a perfectionist, so that isn't saying much!), but I've limited myself to one a day so I can spend quality time on them without neglecting other aspects of my life.

Today's marks the beginning of something new. I have a few pieces of vintage costume jewelry, and have never been the kind to preserve things, so a few pieces from a vintage necklace made their way onto this new soldered square. It is also the first time I've used a copy of a piece of artwork of mine. I want to put my paintings and such in them, now!

This has become very addicting and enjoyable. I find myself wanting to shop for beads. Since I've learned how to do basic wire jewelry (I took a class awhile ago), I can combine the two to create some stunning pieces.

But I'm not neglecting my box! I've got half of a first draft of an article done and have been outlining The Book (as it will be called from here on in) in my journal. Which has become more of a sketchbook than finished, intended pages. Lots of playing and drawing and experimenting with colors going on here! And, of course, on the cover. Because sometimes, you don't have time to open it before the doodling urge overcomes you.

And! I'm teaching a workshop soon! Just have to email the details (tonight, Jami!). I've been planning and scheming and gathering supplies for this journal-making and backgrounds workshop! If only you all could be there....we'd have such fun!

Here are some photos from outside the jail yesterday. Brother is home and seems to be doing well. *G* I, unfortunatly, must be off to serve coffee. Hopefully, this burst of creative energy and getting things done will continue! Pokes to get me back on track are welcome!

{artistic studies in journal #10}

Things here in Kira!Land have come to a head; stressful situations drive me from the house, which means less time on the computer to update or in the studio to paint (my journal, however, loves being sketched in). So please accept my apologies for not staying on schedule or filming any vids lately. Hopefully, after next week, things will get back on track.

For this week, allow me to give you a peek into Journal #10 (and yes, I am STILL pulling numbers from thin air). This, if you remember, is the spiral one I wrote about....last week?

Shall we venture inside?

When I started, I just wanted to collage a whole bunch of papers together, then work on top of them. I haven't been painting as much lately, which means less drawing. The journals I seem drawn to are those that aren't “planned,” that is, a collage of images in the back, then added titles and writing. I want mess – rather, I'm in a mess and feel the need to throw it onto the page.

Through all of the papers, you can barely see the paint. I remembered doing something like this on a previous journal page, a fluke, if you look at my style, and wanted to do that again. Just escape into cutting and gluing and making a general mess of the page.

Now that I think about it, that seems to be my theory for life. I write quite a bit, and instead of worrying about creating something wonderful or poetic, I am to make a complete mess (my journal name over on LiveJournal, the blog I've had for about 8 years, is A Beautiful Disaster). Just chuck whatever you can at it. AIM to create the worst mess you possibly can. Let go of rules. Just do it.

There are two reasons why this works:

1. You get things down onto the page.
2. It usually turns out a lot better than you originally thought it would.

  See the page above. I just continued to layer papers and paint until I threw some white over it to write on, and voila! I actually really love the page. The layers and method capture how I was feeling – insecure, unsure, uncomfortable (new journals tend to do that to me) – more than the writing. That is, I can read the writing, but FEEL the page under my hands.

But then I wandered to Roben-Marie's blog and saw all the fun she was having with stencils and spray paint, and remembered how much fun I had with spray paint. Mine have gone missing (aka buried in the garage under packed boxes), so I bought a few new colors, pulled out my old stencils, and had a bit of fun....

...and realized how POORLY I take care of my stencils.

Most of them are die-cut scrapbooking papers, and, after being stuck together and pulled apart so many times, are in pieces. Literally. I had a piece I was using on the pages. While the decay is beautiful, I need some new ones that aren't folded/ripped/covered in paint.

But then I did something new: I painted over the stencils with gesso (after letting them dry in a well-ventilated area overnight). Err, rather, tried to in the studio after opening the window and turning the fan on high; fume headaches are NOT fun.

(Learn from my mistakes!)

This is what came out:

Before you say anything: all things are fine. I embellished a bit because I was emotional. This may give you a bit of insight as to what's happening here.

For an example of this new hybrid of styles, here's a page I haven't journaled on yet:

I'm in love.

Don't you just love when that happens?