your willingness to be awed

Let me tell you: when you commit to a daily art practice, you go through some emotional upheaval. 

Working on art every day pulls more out of me, since instead of working on one painting or journal spread a week, I’m doing several. This means generating more ideas and trying to figure out what I want to create…what imagery do I want to paint? How do I want to draw my girls? Are there landscapes hiding behind them? What shapes and patterns am I drawn to? 

And these lead to the deeper questions, because they are the ones that fuel the art. How do you figure out what goes in the background of a painting without diving into the well of your own Self? It’s the only way to find that which you want to express, the subject matter you are willing to commit hours and hours of time with, drawing and refining and staring at again and again. 

I’ve never blurred the writing on a journal page before. I’ve held spreads back, but never hidden the words. I’m doing this so I can continue to be raw and honest in my journal without having the thought of what if I want to share this spread running through my head. 

It is simply a personal revelation about issues I was dealing with in high school that, honestly, I’d forgotten about until I was working through a simple little pet peeve of mine. The words appearing on the page were eye-opening, a true revelation that shed light on interpersonal relationships for the past, well, a long time! 

Be brave enough to take the plunge (hence the girl on the left-hand page, jumping off a cliffside into the deep blue ocean) and risk going too far! It can bring great comfort and wisdom into your life! 

Gelli Plate Stamping! (video)

This week, I decided to share one of the videos I did for my Gelli Plate Junk Journal e-class (which has been going swimmingly!). 

the gentile reminders of an art*full life

After last week's experiment, I'm back in the studio three days a week, working on paintings and playing in my art journal.  

Have a lot of thoughts in my head that want to jump onto the paper. 

It feels like a releasing ceremony, except here, instead of writing worries on the paper and tossing it into a fire, we write them on the pages of our journals (those secret spaces) and transform them through paint, paper, and imagery. I never knew, all those years ago, what a precious gift this art*full life would be, one held carefully in cupped hands, sacred and light and endlessly deep. 

I made it five hours today at the studio. Pushed through frustration and happiness and got down to play. I'm learning to recognize where I'm in my own way and getting ideas where I can make an extra effort or stop being so hard on myself. Sitting down to work on a schedule, having a near-daily practice, helps so much . 

blick matte acrylics, golden fluid acrylics, collage, stabilo pencil, prismacolor markers, washi tape

A friend going through something has me thinking about the rhythms of our lives, how we need to own our rhythms and speeds and know they are perfect for us . I related a story from college: in culture, race, & media class, we started talking about differently*abled folks (my term, not theirs...though it should change!) and their perspective. I offered up my own, newly-formed from a couple months living in downtown Chicago (where I went to college, btw!). 

One thing I'd noticed was that no one slowed down. All around me, people were rushing to get from A to B, on their phones, looking down at their feet -- just rushing about. I'd often have to move to the edges of the sidewalk as I walk slower. I didn't want  to at that time, being twenty years old and a college student, and was desperate for a reason to be happy  with how my life had changed. Up until then, my FMS had been...around...but hadn't had a huge impact on my life. 

(This was also the time in my life when I had my first surgery for other issues.) 

But as I eased into this new rhythm of my life, I noticed more. The flowers planted along the sidewalks in a rainbow of colors, the way the sun highlighted the patina of the statues outside the Art Institute, the cooler air coming off Lake Michigan. I can picture those walks perfectly in my memory, even now. The diner where students ate and the Bennigans down the way. My slower pace allowed me to see more beauty, soak up more life, and taught me patience. 

spray paint, golden high flow acrylics, washi tape, blick matte acrylics -- still in-progress

For me, five hours in the studio is an accomplishment. When I told a different friend, she reminded me to get home to rest so I could spend more and more time there, painting, experimenting, playing, daydreaming. 

Others may be able to put in 8 hours in a studio, or 12, or stay up all night. That's not me. I have a set bed time, I sleep in. I snuggle on my couch and work on the computer each morning. I come home to watch prime-time (and this month, work on my novel for NaNoWriMo!) and curl up and read or play in my sketchbook. Would I like to put in more hours? Yes! Can I? Not really. Am I upset about this? Not at all!  

Just makes it that much more my  path. And if I can illuminate the beauty in the slow rhythms of life on the way, then I'm doing something right. 

me, at the studio tonight, with paint & a smile on my face...

peeling back layers with paint-covered fingers

Yesterday was the fifth day of daily painting for me, and the conclusion of my first week focusing on it for 4-6 hours a day.  

I spent that time alone. Which is scary -- when was the last time you came up against yourself, completely alone with your paintbrush?  

It has been so amazing, sharing this journey with all of you, reading your comments on how you get it , want to paint more, get stuck, thrash against Resistance. As artists, we going through many births in our lives, our styles changing as we claw our way into that onion that is our Souls, peeling back layers with paint-covered fingers. It is that yearning, that need  to know more, that keeps us going, curiosity throwing us into the sea of our own selves. We want more . We want to go deeper , and share how we experience life on the canvas or page or with clay or papers. 

Here's what I've learned about myself & my process this week:  

• Every time I have to make that next mark and can't make the decision, I jump for my phone to check random social media or my email. This is Resistance. I get uncertain and run away. I've started running less and less, or structure my time away from the canvas, and am getting more confident with my own expression.

• I can't listen to the radio while working. It influences my work too much, sways my mood with the words. It also annoys me. The best thing for me? Movies or shows playing on my iPad. I don't actively watch them, but the dialogue and story comforts me without influencing me as I paint. 

• I get too wrapped up in shading things "realistically." I actually chatted with a couple of you over on Instagram about this; despite knowing my style, wanting to be free, and having a vision in my head or instincts that say otherwise, I feel as though things don't look right or aren't done "correctly" unless I shade them right. This is bullshit. Excuse the language, but it's the best word for it. Why can't we simply paint what makes us happy, follow our instincts, and allow things to be ? I am trying to let go of this the best I can -- when I started doing portraits, I was very precise and technical, but now... Let's dismiss this silly notion of perfection or reality or what makes things "acceptable." I have a beautiful watercolor of a girl playing the guitar up where I work to remind me that simple = beautiful. And I'll leave complicated paintings to others. 

•  In the silence, I found more of myself. Sometimes, I'd simply sit and think . I'd doodle in my sketchbook all the thoughts in my head and things I'd experienced in my life. Happy and sad. I had the room to figure out how I truly felt and was able to work through some more complicated emotions. Funnily enough, the big painting I'm working on? Her hair is the same color as mine. Wonder if there's a reason for that... ;) 

Many nights, I didn't want to go home, despite being exhausted. I wanted to stay and play and paint and keep going. I thought this was going to be a week-long experiment. Now? I am sure I'll be spending three days a week there painting, either in my art journal or on canvas. It's so revealing. And I've let go of that notion that everything that I paint has to be done and a print and a painting....they can be bad. It's about the journey  I'm making while being there!

Years ago, I read an interview with Teesha Moore where she suggested you go an entire day without talking to anyone else and spend it in your art journal. At the time, I didn't think much of it. But now? I think she's onto something! 

So here are the action shots from yesterday. They're still unfinished, but I'm now confident they won't stay that way for long! 

One last thing: a couple of you asked about the faux-stitching I did on the other paintings....here's an iPhone video of how I did it! 

the doubt that is necessary to faith & grace

Stick with me - this metaphor is from a sci-fi show, but perfectly illustrates what I'm feeling.

Earlier today, I wrote about self-doubt and trying to figure out why I keep running away when I have to make decisions when I'm painting. One of you wrote back, asking how I could possibly doubt myself.

There isn't exactly language to describe this kind of doubt. It isn't that of the Soul or the Self -- it's of the Artist Self, those moment before birth when you know  wonderful things are about to come out into the world, but you're just before that when it's painful and confusing and moving in hyper-realism and you wonder how you got there in the first place. It's the doubt that comes before a fever breaks and you've been sick for ages. It is the doubt that is necessary to faith & grace. 

So, in this show I watch, Haven , Audrey had to open a door. She had to find it, first, as the world began to crumble around her, and she had a guide, trying to help her remember herself. But it wouldn't work if just she opened the door; her friends had to on the other side, too. And when she opened that door, what awaited her was a desert wasteland, a green and white shining scape of fast moving clouds and mountains in the distance, and she had to cross it on faith alone . 

Right. I'm sure a sci-fi dreamscape looks awesome  to jump out into on faith that there's a magic door on the other side. 

And that's where I am. I've opened the door, I'm looking out across, and I'm taking my first steps. It's scary and overwhelming and larger than life, and I know I'll get through to the other side, but as you're stepping out, you have doubt.  

I'm running less. And found my flow.  

Here are some action shots from the day... 

stop acting small

Today was a more focused day of painting and thinking and applying layers....and less photo-taking. Sorry! I'll catch up tomorrow. I can  show you the one I finished today, though! 

I started the day with sketching and writing, though. I'm still trying to get through that block, push past it. And I find I'm a bit uncomfortable with the silence of solitude. I still "check in" on my cell phone all the time, jumping to Instagram or my email whenever solitude squeezes in on me too close...or I don't know what to do next. I think I'm doubting myself these days, rusty on painting or trusting myself, but doubt is necessary to faith, right?  

Don't get the wrong impression from below -- the girl on the right reflects how I felt. But I'm digging deeper and trying to find images to relay my experience of the world, and so, have been thinking about good days and  bad, and what each mean. I know I can be quite bubbly and excited, even when feeling physically ucky, and have a back that hurts after hours in my studio chair. The question is, how to I allow you to experience what I do, and step into my world? 

Here is what I finished. The entire thing is so  pleasing to me, and I just adore it all. I took a picture before and after I stamped the quote...

I had to rush off when I finished to hit the Phoenix stop on Kimberly Wilson's book tour! I love that girl...she had me on her podcast years ago and has been such  a sweet supporter and friend over the years. Who'd've thought the author of a book rec'ed to me over 6 years ago would be hugging me and bragging to people about my art? 

I gave her the little painting as a gift for being awesome. If there's ever anyone to admire for their accomplishments, it's her!  

And that was my day -- a bit of video work in the am, painting all afternoon, and meeting someone dear. I'm off to bed to start reading her new book (which you can grab here!).  

what do i need to howl into life?

After weeks of a migraine and a few more spent working tirelessly to get Gelli Plate Junk Journal content finished on time, I decided I needed a week "off" of computer work. It was time, I felt my Soul tell me, to sit down and paint.  

I have several half-completed pieces, started in the thick of things, born from excitement and passion that were pushed off to the side when other work came through and became more "important." And sure, when other projects where drying, I'd putter around with these...but I knew  an entire week devoted to just painting  would be restorative and inspiring. 

I've felt, lately, that there's one little piece blocking my true  expression of creativity. A blockage I can't seem to get around, past, dissolve, break free of. I knew of this when I went to Florida in September, and felt a little of it loosen up, but with everything that's happened and been going on these past two months, well...it's still there. I felt more shift today, but feel so close  and know  this week is going to truly help me clear it away completely. 

 "we are all birds" 6"x6" mixed media on board. available.

I finished this one today; putting my signature on something really excites me and I feel like I've been uber-productive! You may remember this as the canvas I started at Roben-Marie's house way back in the beginning of September. It sat half-finished and I really didn't know where to go with it....well...here it is! It just came together in a burst of inspiration and intuition, and the words were spoken deep inside me. 

When I took my break, I paged through 14 Artists' Journals by Orly Avineri -- there are some beautiful, soul*full pages in there -- and was so moved to share my own Soul and reach deep inside to make sense of myself, I had to jump up and work in my art journal. I had my smaller Dylusions in my bag, so I pulled it out, slapped down some paint, made marks with Neocolor II watercolor crayons, and added faux stitching with one of my favorite new easy tools before stamping out my thoughts with stamps. I've wanted to do this for so long....why did I wait in the first place?!

acrylic paint, distress stains, Neocolor II, washi tape, scrapbooking paper, rubber stamps

added collage elements from magazines, more paint, stamping, & stickles

I am thrashing and diving and living days full of paint and silence. What are you up to these days? 

Giant Art Photobomb GO!

Wow! Running an online class seems to grab all my attention; everything has been filmed, though, and last night, after 3.5 hours of working, we headed off for a good dinner of crab legs to celebrate. 

I spent the day cleaning my patio, moving furniture,  & putting up Halloween decorations. I'm not a huge fan of Halloween-y stuff (I know...surprising, right?), but for some reason, have felt the need to make the world around me festive, fun, & positive. Cleanliness and incense and pretty decorating! 

(Keep reading; this is an art journal photobomb post!) 

Okay, so I don't have very many decorations, but I did the best with what I have! I love those little pumpkin lights, even though they don't light up. 

Now that things are nice and clean and moved, I can sit outside in the cool desert air and play in my journals. This weekend is for relaxation and filling the well; creating stories with drawings and paints and markers, doodling shapes and ships on the sea. Expressing all the uncertainty I feel. 

I think, when we come out on the other side of something, a prolonged period of turbulence or illness in our lives, it's natural to question the lesson behind it. I've found myself writing my questions in my art journals, layers of colorful marker-scrawled words hidden under paint and collage.  

 blick matte acrylics, collage materials, prismacolor markers, gold oil pastel, signo white gel pen

distress stains, signo white gel pen

distress stains, gold acrylic paint, black craft paint, white signo gel pen

The rest of my time has been consumed with Gelli Printing! 

 For me, whenever I teach a class, I find myself uber-excited to share every little thing I know, & any waining passion is reignited; I have tried so many new things lately, and just adore re-exploring my gelli plate through the eyes of my students. 

One of their favorite things is how I clean my plate. I originally learned this from Carla Sonheim and fell in love -- it's perfect for art journalers because the technique creates instant backgrounds to play on, and is so textured and full of color, I just love looking at them! How do you do it? Simply cover your plate with a layer of craft paint, put it down in your journal, and let it dry -- easy peasy! Here are some in my various journals...

Okay, this last one is a combination of techniques and an example from one of the lessons that I'm doodling on with the best pen in the world, the Pilot Permaball. Roben-Marie parted with one from her stash for me to try this discontinued pen. It write over ANYTHING and dries totally permanent. I adore it, but only pull it out when it'd be the best tool since I'll have to order more online when it runs out. Still...so, so nice! You can't get them in stores anymore, but can grab them at the Scarlet Lime shop. 

The last thing I'm sharing today in this art photobomb is the junk journal I finished for the Gelli Print Junk Journal class. BTW, we're having SO MUCH FUN....after just a week, the girls are totally blown away and learning new things. I'm going to take my mother's advice and brag about myself for a moment by sharing a few things they've said: 

Miriam C:

"I have seen tons of videos but your video from yesterday's class has refreshing new techniques I haven't seen before. I considered myself pretty proficient on the Gelli Plate but yesterday I learn tons of new things. And we are only in our first week of class. I am absolutely loving the class. If you are reading this post I would urge you to sign up for Samie Harding Gelli Plate ecourse."

Vickie P:

"Seriously, you changed my printing style for the better today as I worked. I learned more from you than I realized until I put it into practice! This class ROCKS! Thank you!"

Genevive C: 

"I have watched countless Gelli printing YouTube videos, and I've already learned several new things. And I just received my round Gelli plate, so I'm definitely going to play with that." 

I have been SO happy and encouraged by all they're saying and creating! I've really learned to hold space and share from my heart; I have learned I have so much to share in this life, and really need to get on doing so! 

(You can join us at any time!)

Phew! That was a lot of pictures! Photobomb DONE!  

By the way, did you catch this week's episode of Journal Girl in the Studio? I reviewed Blick Matte Acrylics and played with them in my art journal.  

While you go watch that, I'm going to head outside and play! It's beautiful outside and I just found neon Prismacolor markers -- OMG, they're gorgeous! But that's for another day!