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I am in love with the transformative powers of art journaling. I've posted a new video lesson for my Creative Warriors about my struggles with insomnia and chronic fatigue.
Look! It even says so! Check out my spread in the new issue of Somerset Apprentice for advice, my favorite supplies, and more! I couldn't be in better company, with lovely friends like Carissa Paige, Vanessa Spencer, Pam Carriker, and Kristen Robinson, and artists I love, such as Christine Adolph and Kelly Barton. It really is a fabulous issue, especially if you're just starting and need to learn the basics.
And this girl is super excited she can put Pro on her resume now. I can do that, right? How about carry photos of this around? *happy dance*
I have been trying to write this blog post all day.
Whenever I’m in a Flare-Zone (flare up, day/s of pain, etc), I try to stay off the internet and not write anything. Pain turns me into a big, fire-breathing dragon guarding whatever tatters of sanity are left, with a quick temper that roars when I get overstimulated. The moment I step into my apartment and the door closes behind me after running even the easiest of errands, I break down and start sobbing from holding everything in for so long. And I get overstimulated waaay too easily.
This all combines into a Cloud of Negativity that only spreads onto the internet, in Facebook statuses that I regret a couple of hours later when pain meds have mellowed things out to a controllable, I-can-do-art-now level. Ugh. Have you ever sent an email you wished you could just snatch up from the air and grab back?
Today is a better day than yesterday, and I’m hoping tomorrow is even better than today. Though the girl at the office (where I had to use the fax machine, since mine isn’t working…grr!) told me it’s supposed to start raining come Wednesday…can a girl get a break? Anyway, I spent last night watching Once Upon a Time & Revenge while doodling and finishing up these pages in my larger journal, and as soon as I finished my cotton candy girl, I was like, “Oh my goodness, I am in love with this page!” I wanted to snuggle it close and marveled at the fact that I made it!
It started all layered and collage-y and with tons of neon….I am SO helplessly in love with neon! The page on the right was done with charcoal and at first, I thought she looked like an alien…I think she still does, but adding hair did help. And then merry, happy marks.
I really want to make a video or class around happy mark-making. Working on the iPad has so loosened me up, and I no longer feel like I have to cover every bit of the page…well, I already talked about that, but it continues on.
I now switch between my bigger journal and my Moleskine sketchbook. More paint and marks and neon oil pastels. The face on the right is a graphite portrait I did last year that I recently unearthed when cleaning. I made a smaller copy and just pasted it into my journal with some washi tape accents. Journaling is really opening up to me in a new way…after eight years, it continues to surprise and save me, which is why I keep doing it!
I’ve found a way to use my ever-growing washi collection (we did a SWAP on Friday that was genius!)…I put it down the center of my journal spreads to keep stuff from leaking through. I’m not a huge fan of doing two page spreads, so it breaks it up into pages while adding texture and color. I can jump off from there.
Tonight, I’ll be playing in my journal some more. It’s a wonderful distraction, and can be done anywhere!
What new things have you tried lately?
Any new colors, materials, or techniques?
Are you drawing more, loosening up, expressing yourself?
Materials used: a lot! MS paint, neon oil pastels, washi tape, collage materials, Prismacolor Colored Pencils, paint pens, markers, graphite, charcoal
Sometimes, my FMS likes to show me who’s boss.
We usually get along — I make a point to say I live with FMS and not suffer from it — and I can go on trips or spend my days out or painting, have fun as long as I acknowledge my limits (I talk about how I cope in Creative Warriors, and one of my most important tools, Rest Stops). Yes, I’ll have some days that are harder than others, but overall, my health has vastly improved ever since I went on an adventure, stopped consuming HFCS and fake sugars, and cut gluten out of my diet.
Any illness or upheaval in life can steal any sense of control we have in our lives. Vanessa just wrote a touching and heartfelt post about her recent health issues and her experiences during it all — I really recommend it, because she just…she had me in tears by the end.
For the past couple of weeks, the fatigue component of my twin diagnosis of FMS/CFS (fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome) has been kicking my butt.
When our bodies begin to act in a way contrary to how we’d like, we can respond with resentment and frustration. We grow up thinking we are in control of our bodies, but the mind is only one component, and while we have the strength of will to keep going during difficult circumstances or bright joys, our bodies will do what they need to do in order to keep us alive. They are marvelous machines, able to do so many things (like creating life — how miraculous!).
What do we do, then, when they aim to misbehave?
Mine is teaching me a much-needed lesson on self-care and love.
I need to stop being frustrated and angry with myself.
I am doing all I can, getting done all my work, still enjoying art and friendship.
So why should I let this fatigue get to me?
Why should I let it get me down?
I fear people may think me lazy, or life may be passing me by.
But we all need to learn how to live as we’re meant to.
And if that means I’m spending more time caring for myself, forgiving myself, loving myself,
then perhaps I’m beginning to learn the lesson.
I decided the other night to take some screen shots as I was working on a digital art journal page. I've been posting them nightly to my Instagram account, but didn't want to overwhelm the blog with all this digital work -- I do so much more, like paintings, traditional pages, sketching, patterns, talismans, jewelry, resin casting....iPhoto is chuck-full of pictures to post! Have you noticed how much more I've been sharing, hrmm?
When working digitally, I pull in all sorts of elements, from photos of older journal pages to found papers and "stencils" I've made! I work mostly in Procreate and use a Sensu stylus/brush (but don't pull out the brush very often!). The more you work with any tool & app, the better you get, so keep playing!
I'm planning out an e-course for digital art journaling...are you in?
Don't we look alike? I noticed on Instagram the other day, so I said we SO had to take a picture together! Plus, we're both IG addicts, so we were snapping pictures on our phones while chatting for hours. I really love it when you meet someone one on one and just click and can be vulnerable and true. It makes life sweeter!
I brought my little gel plate and favorite supplies, and S brought her couch box (and I felt silly since I put everything into a different pair of boxes....I promptly reassembled my couch box when I got home!). We played with each others' favorite supplies and did drawing and general mess-making. If you haven't had a play date in awhile, you really should. I found myself re-energized after a few weeks of ucky CFS fatigue and really enjoyed myself.
(The pic above and the two below were taken from her IG feed, btw! Credit where credit's due; and permission given!)
(She doodled this! And said she wasn't good at faces. PSHAW! Help me convince her she is in the comments below!)
My finished page I had a BLAST making it!
I tried to get the face details to work, and got really frustrated, but was convinced she's just as beautiful without it. One of the things we chatted about was anxiety and comfort levels, and how it can be hard to put yourself out there. We can think the worst because of our own individual objectivities and issues, and have to be careful to stay open. I know I have to work on this, and it is a huge life lesson. I'm glad we were at a "yay!" level!
Working on my daily digital pages has really loosened me up and helped me to express myself through drawing and painting, and this journal page is new and lovely and oh-so-awesome. Lots of growth is happening over here!
For an art journaler, I am terrible at writing things down! I'll get an idea while driving, or out with friends, and try to remember it....but then I forget everything except that I HAD a really awesome idea and now it's gone. Arg! Has this ever happened to you? I try to implement things if I'm near the studio, but sometimes, well...you're just NOT in the best place to work!
So I decided that this year, I was going to carry a journal with me and write everything down. Ideas, phrases, even images or inspiring collections of color! No more missing out or forgetting (my fibro-brain is terrible at remembering things). I dug out a Moleskine sketchbook I've had for a few years and only used a third of, and tossed it in my purse, ready to capture all the stuff my brain thinks up.
There are diagrams of projects or technique ideas, of course, but what I'm really thrilled about are the times when I see a pattern or image that I love -- that I'd usually try to remember for later -- and do a quick sketch. Working daily on the iPad has really made doing imperfect and spontaneous drawing so much easier, and I get lovely journal pages out of it!
This page was inspired by a sweater a woman was wearing in a TV show I was watching on Netflix. I adored the collar and colors, so I doodled it! And then just....kept going! Having a steady journal companion allows me to be creative whenever I'm struck with an idea, and just because I've drawn this once doesn't mean I can't do, say, a more involved journal page or painting of it later! Repetition's a great teacher, right?
What ideas have you lost? Why don't you join me in writing things down more; you'll quickly fill a journal with how inspiring life can be!
Materials Used: Gelly Roll black gel pen, Tombow markers, Copic Markers, Dylusions Ink, Moltow Paint Pens, gold Uni-Ball pen
(And yes, I usually have all these materials in my purse, just in case!)
Check one off the bucket list -- that is my bright, formerly-in-a-pile art hanging on the wall in a real gallery.
I know!
For years, I've been a huge chicken, always finding a reason to NOT go visit my favorite coffee shop with a portfolio in hand, letting my Inner Critic sway my positive thoughts into the deep Fear of Rejection. I think that's natural, especially when you put so much of your heart on the line in an artistic pursuit (though I've been able to share my poetry, in the past, with less trepidation; not so much these days!). We all reach milestones and are praised by friends and family, but fear, outside the collective bubble of loving support, that things may not be as good as we thought.
With how much I've been teaching lately, I've begun to learn the value of live, real-time positive feedback and get out of that bubble a little more. There is definitely a difference between comments and likes online and the way a person's whole being seems to light up when they accomplish something they never thought possible or see a piece of art that resonates with them.
The gallery deal happened so fast, so last-minute, I didn't have time to say no or pull out. It started with me agreeing to drop off some prints to sell and ended with Heather, the manager, stopping by my apartment while I was out filming Kristen Robinson and chatting with the ladies at Ice Resin. So I really couldn't back out!
Walking in and seeing them up on a wall, along with work by other artists, and being asked to leave them for the entire month was....wow. A rush? That full-body tingle that runs up your spine when a dream comes true? A jolt to my system that opened up so many more things -- if this were possible, what else was I wrong about? What other seemingly-impossible dreams are waiting in the wings?
I sold some prints ten minutes after I arrived, and hung around for a little bit, just to see how people reacted. I could see their eyes sparkle, and then Heather would say, "We have the artist with us this evening," and they would turn to me and I would give a little wave, and oh my God, when did this become my life? I went from using watercolors wrong eight years ago to sitting in a little gallery in downtown Phoenix selling art. My morning had been taken up by directing videos that would, well, a bigger audience to say the least. I talked shop, finished up a few things, rested, and went out. Hit a friend's for games and a late dinner after. Spent the weekend polishing an article for a major magazine.
I am social and constantly creative and can someone come pinch me so I can make sure this is real?
You can come visit my artwork at Soul Invictus gallery at 1022 NW Grand, Phoenix, AZ on Third Thursday and whenever a concert is going on. Both the original paintings and prints are available.