colorful, messy, & paint-covered

I managed to get to the studio for a few hours this week, escaping errands and things-to-do and going all over the place. Even a few hours can prove relaxing and enlightening, when exploring new techniques. 

Last week, I decided to combine my love of drawing with my new mess-making technique. Every time I sit down to play, I do one tweak, one thing different, like changing up a single color or making a new kind of mark. Holding the tool different, or adding/subtracting collage elements. These may seem like little things, but done over weeks, they add up to significant changes. 

That first, square cropped image is from last week, during my first experiment in this vein, and then I decided to start playing with dresses. Now, I don't use a single paintbrush when I make these pages, which makes it thrilling to play. I've become more precise with my marks, and have learned so many new "tricks" by allowing myself the room to continually repeat the same colors and methods. Not every page needs to be "fresh" and full of new colors, or different ones. Artists do series for a reason...you can explore the same image or photo or colors for entire journals if you'd like! Why didn't I do this sooner?

I just adore this spread. It's quite giant, too! 22"x14", in the large journal. It's about a girl and her bird, both enjoying the same wind, but facing different directions, a shared wind but vastly different experiences. 

Her dress just sort of happened. Ink from the first layer bled through to color the top part, and neon pink and white paint mixed unevenly on the rest gives such a sense of texture; if you could touch it, you'd feel it. 

This is in my smaller Canson mixed-media book, 7"x9" when closed. The pages are perforated, but don't tear out easily at all. This girl is stretching toward the sun, raising a hand toward God in a search for answers. 

A friend told me this morning that nothing is random, including the figures we draw & paint in our journals. Sitting with them, writing out what comes to mind, allows us to figure out what our minds are trying to tell us. It gives me an incredible sense of comfort to think, in some part of my own mind, answers exist. 

I've been asked what I use, and it's this beautiful bouquet of Catalyst Tools! Most commonly, that medium grey one on the left and it's smaller counterpart (the latter of which is my main tool these days). I also use a pointed rubber color shaper, though that's more for cleaning and shaping paint, rather than apply it. 

I'm having such a blast! And have so many more pieces I haven't even shared yet! My iPhoto library is a colorful, messy, paint-covered compendium of just how many photos I take while working with my phone. 

BTW, I'm thinking of making either this or beginner gouache for art journalers my next online offering. Any votes on which I should choose? I'm in love with both!

The Red Storybook Weeks #4 & 5

The first few weeks of The Red Storybook were amazing, and then week 4 hit and I drew, but I didn't do it well, and never colored anything. Okay, I didn't color half of week 3, either, but hey! I had weekends! I could catch up easily, right?

Nope. 

It's so hard to catch up when you also have that day's entry to do, and I've spent the past two weeks trying to catch up and stay on top of current entries. It was tough. But I have gotten to a point where I'm comfortable moving on. Oh, sure, I could spend forever and a day improving previous entries and getting into the details, but that isn't the point. I need to let go and move forward. 

I've already seen an improvement with how I work with the gouache, have added in colored pencils, and it's getting a bit easier to figure out what my illustration style really is. It's also awesome to be able to look back and see my weeks stack up -- I'm into the 40's, now, and can't believe I've cleared nearly half of February! 

I've also been working on a Massive Gouache Q&A post, as well as a How I Do This & With What post, and now that I'm caught up and posting all these spreads, will be back to regular blogging. 

(I'm always blogging on my Tumblr, which now has more art than Sherlock GIFs, and a few posts I haven't shared anywhere else even Instagram.) 

I'm goofy in love with some work I've done recently, including art journal messes made today, so this week's blogging will be more than just my silly drawings and words...(how else do we improve, though, but through doing and doing often?) 

Also, Friendly Faces is all up for self-study with some pretty satisfied students! 

The Red Storybook - Week #3

They say it takes three weeks to establish a habit, and we're at week three of my project for the year. While there was a period of about ten days where I simply wrote and did a quick pencil sketch, I've come to restructure my evenings around my storybook entries. I'll pull it out while watching an hour or two of nighttime tv to write and sketch, then head to my little desk to color the drawing in with my box of gouache before grabbing a book and snuggling with my pup in bed. 

Actually, I'm getting to be earlier than I have for the past couple of months, and spending less time at night watching tv (well, I don't count an episode or two streaming on my ipad as tv time, since I'm at my desk listening to it...). It's helping me get into a steady rhythm with my sleep schedule, which is insanely important when you have fibromyalgia. Who knew a nightly art habit was all I needed! 

I'm also becoming more confident with gouache, and am feeling less guilty about buying it because I use it every day...I'm sure you have a hoarded supply you wish you used more  or feel guilty about all the money spent on it. Well, using it every day not only helps you become more skilled with it, but you use it up faster!  

My plan is to share a few of my favorites from the week. I have to allow myself to keep some back, or else my perfectionist side will come out with each one, and instead of allowing myself to experiment, I'll be worried about if it's "good enough" to share!

(I'm also blogging them each week as a way to stay accountable...if people are expecting me to post, I'd better have something to share!)

If you have any questions about this project, or the supplies I use, leave 'em in the comments and I'll do a big post to answer them all. 

PS. There's still time to enter my book giveaway! Comments close tonight at midnight, MST! 

PPS. I'm using my Tumblr a lot as a little scrapbook of art I love, discussions about chronic illness, & Sherlock gifs. C'mon over if you have one, and let me know yours so I can add you back!

PPPS. Friendly Faces starts tomorrow! Woohoo! I'm spending the day getting everything ready. You can join at any time!

Re*Think

The three of us sat there,
Life of Brian playing off an old VHS,
each of us creating in our own ways. 

I was tipsy and happy and full of warm, yummy soup.
And so I began to create.
To doodle and add water and color, & thought about the day. ​

It is time to go deeper.
To re-think the days of my life,
the art I create,
why and who and where and how.
To open my Third Eye, meditate, see, think, BE.
Deeper than ever before, scrambled and new. ​

What about you?​

​12"x12" mixed-media on canvas

Listening Past the Noise to Her Wild Self

This painting came with me to the undertow and rode the storm with me.​
It picked me up and carried me to shore. 

It wasn't an easy journey. This wasn't done in a day, or two, or three.
But weeks. Hours and hours spent with detail brushes.
Pushing the very boundaries of my abilities.
Challenging me. 
Cleaning me out. Pulled out all the wires and bits and what-makes-me-me until it reached my heart. 
And plucked it from my chest. 

My brains are scrambled, my feet unsteady;
when it put me back down, I stumbled along.
She was hard-won, fought for with blood, sweat, and tears.
The deepest painting experience I've ever had. ​

She is surrounded by Noise.
By the constant sensory input of chronic pain,
​over-stimulated and straining to BE, to think, to be CLEAR.
But she's going to Listen past it all. 

A week ago, I had a vision.
I was me, with feathers in my hair, with moccasins on my feet,
reconnected to my Native heritage,
surrounded by animals.
​It has been swimming in my head since then, 
all the peace I felt,
the Oneness,
the Truth of who I am underneath. 

That is what she is.
She is Me, under it all.
Past it all.
A Dream of Me.
Listening Past the Noise to Her Wild Self.​

I am ready to Listen, to Be, to Create. ​

​24"x24" mixed-media on wood

A lesson in self-love

Sometimes, my FMS likes to show me who’s boss. 

We usually get along — I make a point to say I live with FMS and not suffer from it — and I can go on trips or spend my days out or painting, have fun as long as I acknowledge my limits (I talk about how I cope in Creative Warriors, and one of my most important tools, Rest Stops). Yes, I’ll have some days that are harder than others, but overall, my health has vastly improved ever since I went on an adventure, stopped consuming HFCS and fake sugars, and cut gluten out of my diet. 

Any illness or upheaval in life can steal any sense of control we have in our lives. Vanessa just wrote a touching and heartfelt post about her recent health issues and her experiences during it all — I really recommend it, because she just…she had me in tears by the end. 

For the past couple of weeks, the fatigue component of my twin diagnosis of FMS/CFS (fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome) has been kicking my butt.

When our bodies begin to act in a way contrary to how we’d like, we can respond with resentment and frustration. We grow up thinking we are in control of our bodies, but the mind is only one component, and while we have the strength of will to keep going during difficult circumstances or bright joys, our bodies will do what they need to do in order to keep us alive. They are marvelous machines, able to do so many things (like creating life — how miraculous!). 

What do we do, then, when they aim to misbehave? 

Mine is teaching me a much-needed lesson on self-care and love. 

I need to stop being frustrated and angry with myself. 

I am doing all I can, getting done all my work, still enjoying art and friendship.

So why should I let this fatigue get to me? 

Why should I let it get me down? 

I fear people may think me lazy, or life may be passing me by.

But we all need to learn how to live as we’re meant to.

And if that means I’m spending more time caring for myself, forgiving myself, loving myself,

then perhaps I’m beginning to learn the lesson.

I brought joy to my insomnia last night by journaling. Materials used: handcarved stamp, washi tape, Cat's Eye ink pads, collage papers, MS Paints, pencils, neon oil pastels, Moltow white paint pen. 

A Magic Toy on My Doorstep (lots of pics!)

Look at the beauty that arrived on my doorstep today! 

I’ve never bought a digital camera before — the one I’ve been using has been borrowed, and aside from my Bloggie, which promised to be great but has been a sore disappointment, I’ve used hand-me-downs and, for a few weeks, a gift that couldn’t compensate for my less-than-steady hands. Being able to not only purchase a camera, but a nice one for video recording and blog photos, well, I never thought I’d have enough to be able make such a big purchase! 

And the reality is, I have, in the past, but realize I’ve been a Money Hoarder, always worried that the moment I spend the money on anything large, it’d never be replenished. This is a definite lack of faith in the Universe or God or whatever you may believe, believing that God would gift you with funds one day and deny you the next. I don’t want to get into a discussion about my thoughts on such things, as they’re still deep in bramble patches full of thorns made from a past of illness and uncertainty, but I do believe that God has a vested interest in you as long as you have one in yourself. 

And I decided, in the swell of magic that’s taken residence in my life since the unbelievable generosity around the mini-class and the lives it continues to touch, that it was time to truly invest in myself and where I want to go. To stop making the little, safe choices, borrowing and cutting corners where I could and take that giant leap into this new path I’ve forged for myself. 

If I’m going to be filming one or two videos a week, pouring my heart into each, then it makes perfect sense to purchase a camera that would not only record beautifully, but allow me to see myself as I film (which, if you’ve considered using a digital camera of some kind, it’s kinda difficult!). It will make my work easier and cut down on frustration. 

But more than that, I believe it says: 

Universe, I am ready. I’m not ‘getting by’ and making it work — I am investing seriously in my future. I have declared my mission; now, I’m declaring my commitment. 

Here are a few shots from around the studio today. I’ve been taking it easy for the past few days, as my FMS has decided it wants to chill out in lounge clothes on the couch, so I decided to show you a few details from my new journal. I went ahead and bought a 9”x12” Strathmore Visual Journal (mixed media) as I love the smaller one they sent me a few weeks ago…and I really love this one, too! I don’t have to gesso pages and can still slather on the layers! 

I cannot stress how much my life has become magical after figuring out how to help you by helping — and being — me. Shifting my focus from simply teaching and sharing to helping and being myself has made everything so much clearer, and the world seems full of opportunity. Things just keep happening awesomely. So this new journal is a place where I dream of possibility and abundance. I want to be reminded of these things every day, each time I take out my journal. 

Okay, I’ll stop rambling now! Enjoy the pictures! 

(I'm transfering the sketch to the wood...fun!)

PS. I have a cool surprise for y'all this week, and so many projects and ideas to write down, I'll be busy for weeks! All things to help YOU journal your lives easier, and create beautiful art no matter how healthy, ill, moble, or tired you may be!